Q: Dear Love Jays,
Is it okay I’m dating one guy (we aren’t exclusive) and sleeping with another?
A: Dear Double Dippin’,
Non-exclusive dating gives you the freedom to date, sleep, or hang out with anyone your little heart desires. Dating is a time when you get to explore several options and decide which person (if any) has the potential of becoming more serious.
So, is it okay that you’re dating one and sleeping with another? Technically, yes. Would I recommend continuing this behavior? No. Sex embodies much more emotions than just the physical exchanges of pleasure between our “money spots”. Sex was designed to be shared between two people who are committed to each other and share something special. Casually having sex with people will eventually take its toll on the mental psyche of woman or man. I’m sure there are several of you who want to rebuttal my last statement, but rest assured – you will have your “aha” moment one day. Long story short, sex simply makes things complicated – physically and emotionally.
Easy advice – pick one and stick to ‘em! It’s much much easier to focus your attention on one person and will save you from emotional damage, even if you are unaware of it at this moment.. If you get bored of him, on to the next one. That’s the beauty of dating!
A: Dear Boyfriend #2,
You are in the clear if you and both (or how ever many) men have agreed to the “non-exclusive clause”; however if anyone is under the impression you are just dating and/or sleeping with them you need to either have a conversation or drop whoever is just there for your disposal.
I want to get to the reason WHY you are asking.If you felt it was ok ,chances are you would not have to ask. The real question is, are YOU ok with sleeping with one guy and dating another? Women are emotional creatures, though things may be fun now maybe you are starting to subconsciously notice the balancing act is taking a toll on you.
If you are starting to question yourself maybe take a step back and determine which of the men, if any, you want to be with. If you are not questioning yourself at all and you truly just want the answer to this question I would say it’s ok if you are ok.
Best of luck!
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© LoveJays 2012