Episode 69: (S)expectations

sexpectations
  • When watching music videos was the thing to do.
  • Joy’s wisdom teeth removal and HARSH breath.
  • The downside of seeing movies after all the hype.
  • Esther Perel’s series on Audible and view on sexual compatibility.
  • Who is the gatekeeper for sex?
  • Why taboo subjects aren’t beneficial to growth.
  • Is it acceptable to call women females?
  • And much more!

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Episode 61: Sex Makes Babies

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  • ICYMI: Last week’s interview with Tom Williamson.
  • People’s unwillingness to truly open up.
  • What if you lived in a world where you could not lie?
  • The downside of living life with an unconscious fear.
  • The mental clarity shift since switching to a predominately plant based diet.
  • Atlanta’s beautiful blackness.
  • Unprotected sex and why the pull-out method is overrated.
  • And much more!

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Episode 54: Sex With My Friend’s Ex

friend's ex

Elevator Pitch

  • Easter Weekend vs. Resurrection Sunday.
  • Gospel music is the ultimate R&B.
  • Our non-existent tax return.
  • We joined Blavity!
  • Would you date your friend’s ex-boo?
  • How men and women deal with raw emotions after a breakup.
  • Man’s worst nightmare.
  • And much more!

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Episode 26: Sex Dreams & Car Doors

sex dreams

Elevator Pitch

  • Y2K Babies.
  • The moment you realize everyone knows your business.
  • Recap: Presidential Debate #1.
  • “Sexy Time” Dreams.
  • Six Degrees of Separation.
  • Consuming TV at different rates.
  • Men opening car doors for women.
  • Chivalry: What’s your definition?
  • And much more!

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Episode 24: Celibacy – The Road Less Traveled

Elevator Pitch

  • Do you love Tuesdays?
  • Basking in quiet time.
  • Children timeline…we don’t agree.
  • iPhone 7: Why I don’t have you, yet.
  • Celibacy: The Road Less Traveled.
  • The defining moment(s) that led to our decision.
  • Sex is a distraction.
  • Redefining intimacy.
  • Friends to Best Friends.
  • And much more!

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Sex First, Love Second

Q: Dear Love Jays,

Do you think true love will transpire from a relationship started on strictly sex?

A: Dear Sex First, Relationship Second,

Contrary to popular belief, a relationship started on strictly sex has the ability to transform into one built on love, trust and understanding. Would I bet the house on it? No. Do I believe the majority of relationships that are rooted in just sex will eventually fail? Yes. However, just because we start something one way doesn’t always mean it will finish the same way.

We’ve written about sex numerous times in the past and we can agree sex plays in an important role in any sexually active relationship. Did you catch that? An important role. As defined by the lovely dictionary app on my Macbook, role is defined as “the function assumed or part played by a person or thing in a particular situation”.

Function assumed. Part played.

The definition clearly suggests that a role does not make up the entirety, therefore sex shouldn’t make up the entirety of a relationship. “Sex-only” relationships are typically characteristic of people who are unwilling or afraid to embrace the other roles needed to maintain a healthy and successful relationship. And guess what happens when you have two people who are unwilling to do the “other stuff”? You guessed correctly — a shoddy relationship at best.

Fortunately for us, we are all humans and have the ability to change. If both parties (yes, BOTH PARTIES) are willing to move sex from the forefront of their relationship and develop the other necessary components of a relationship, true love can transpire. Be sure to prepare yourself for a looooooong and bumpy ride! 🙂

Love,

Mr. J

A: Dear Sex Before Love,

In today’s day and age, it is not uncommon to have sex with a person before actually getting to know them. Just as we have emotional needs, we also have physical needs. Sometimes a person intended to fill a physical need can surprise you with their ability to fill your emotional needs as well.

As a woman, I can see how it could be pretty simple to make the transition from friends with benefits to boyfriend and girlfriend. Whether you want to admit it or not, sex is an emotional experience for us. Even if we think we have shut off the emotional switch, every time you lay down with a man you are opening the emotional flood gates just a bit.

Men operate differently. It’s a little easier for them to separate physical pleasure from emotional desires. I hate to say it, but because of this fun fact, once women give what Steve Harvey calls “The Cookie” away, they are at a disadvantage. Men are motivated by sex. It’s not even all about the act, half the time it’s about the mystery. What does that women really look like, feel like, smell like ect…Once the mystery is gone so is the motivation.

It’s no secret that sex confuses things. Is it possible to have a true, loving relationship with the foundation being just sex? Absolutely. However, it is not probable. Good Luck!

Love,

Miss J

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© LoveJays 2013