What’s on the Dating Menu?

Q: Dear Love Jays,

I am dating this girl and I like her, but I am known to get bored. Lately she has been hinting at wanting something more. What is the point in making it official if I know I will eventually get bored? Should I try it just for the sake of trying?

A: Dear Boredom,

“Getting bored easily” is one of the most commonly used expressions by men when asked about starting a relationship. I firmly believed that if you get bored really easily, it would probably be in your best interest to stay out of relationships. My view has shifted. While “getting bored easily” still has some validity, it is another excuse in the man’s handbook: 1001 Ways to Convince Yourself and Others Relationships are not for Me.

The opportunity to start a relationship with another person should be looked at as a positive thing. In today’s world, relationships have been misconstrued, distorted and made out to be the worst idea for anyone under the age of 25.

“Have fun in your 20’s!”
“GET IT IN!!”
“You have the rest of your life to be in a relationship!”

Any of these sound familiar? We are constantly bombarded by external pressures and ideas that subconsciously shape our views towards relationships and helps us rationalize why a relationship isn’t right for us. I like this girl, but…She is a good person, but…I could see myself dating her in the future, but…the list is endless. The purpose of dating is to determine whether or not you can see yourself in a relationship with the person. Do not try just for the sake of trying; make an honest evaluation of your current situation and the next steps should make themselves clear!

Sincerely,

Mr. J

A: Dear I guess I can try, 

No, you should not “try just for the sake of trying”; you aren’t contemplating what you want for dinner – you are deciding whether or not you want to take it a step further with another human being (who has their own thoughts, feelings, and life outside of you). If she wants something more and you don’t see the point, don’t do it.

Love,

Miss J

© LoveJays 2012

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