Happy August Family!
Can you believe we are already starting the 8th month of 2012? I still remember bringing in the New Year with the lovely Miss J, my brother and a few of his friends down in Pasadena, CA like it was yesterday! Not to mention the atrocious beard I was rockin’ – I’m sure it would have made James Harden cringe. Yes, it was that bad. Guess that is what happens when you take “No Shave November” too far. Don’t’ worry, I have learned my lesson.
Last week, the Love Jays received a question that only warranted a man’s opinion. Here is the question:
“Patience. I have to setup the question(s). Most women, some will deny this, will meet a guy and in their minds immediately jump to the future or to some label (i.e. boyfriend, husband, baby daddy). “The future” can be multiple scenarios. But women decide if this person is worth their time. Imaginary long-term possibilities are explored within minutes of the initial encounter. Do men do the same? If not, at what point do men label or explore/decide on the future potential of women? What makes THAT woman stand out in the millions you meet.”
Side bar: For all the women reading this post who play out similar scenarios, bless your little heart. I send my sincerest regards to your emotions and brain for having to deal with such calculations.
Let’s sum this answer up quickly – absolutely not. Upon meeting a woman, the first and typically only thing men are thinking about is satisfying the physical desire that is burning in both of our heads. Pun intended. Moving on. I wish I could sit here and defend the stereotypes hurled against men for caring too much about the physical, but the harsh reality is that most men aren’t thinking anything about “the next steps” until many days, weeks or even months down the line.
Men are physical creatures. We are naturally aroused when we see an attractive women. It’s in our genetics. We don’t control it. As a result, the animalistic nature inside of us takes over and we quickly decipher if we should attempt to swing for the fences or stay in the dugout and cheer from a distance. Now of course, not all men think or act this way. There are some gentleman left in this world who suppress their natural urges and rationally sift through their mental checklist to decide if you are “future material” relatively quickly.
Some advice going forward – embrace the mindset that all men are only concerned about satisfying themselves. Call our bluff. Force us to play a different hand. We love to be challenged and love when a woman offers something different. A confident, strong and intelligent woman will have a man running in circles trying to make you his future!
You want a man to think about the future quicker? Change the game! The ball is in your court. We are the greatest puppets in the world!
What has been your experience LoveJays fam? How do you get men to think about the future quicker? Fellas, agree or disagree? Let’s discuss it!
Peace and Blessings,
Mr. J
© LoveJays 2012
I think women are afraid to state out loud what they want out of a relationship out of fear of the guy freaking out, and in that case the guy can go on thinking as casually as he wants.
I’m not a casual dater. When I start dating a guy I want it to head in a serious direction. I have no problem putting this out there on the table. When I met my wonderful boyfriend of 2 and a half years who I now live with, he had no problem moving the relationship along in terms of introducing me to his friends and calling me his girlfriend. However, he had never been in love before and didn’t know if it was something he wanted to say to a girl unless he could see himself marrying her. I was falling in love with him, and I simply expressed that he could take all the time he needed, but I had no interest in being in a relationship down the line if we were not in love. No ultimatum to make a rushed decision, but I think it at least gets the guy thinking along those lines of a future.
Some guys may just been a little push to start envisioning a future because they are so happy living in the present.