Dear Love Jays,
I am unhappy in my relationship, but I love my significant other while also being afraid of being alone. Advice?
Dear Unhappily Staying,
Happiness: Life’s ultimate goal.
Sacrificing your happiness out of fear of being alone is ultimately hurting your own personal growth and development. When we love someone, our logical processes sometimes get disrupted by the heart’s overwhelming power and we may ignore some important triggers along the way. Before we can fully love someone, we must learn to love and respect ourselves. Casting aside our own personal well-being for love’s sake isn’t love at all; it’s deception at it’s finest. Every relationship requires us to make sacrifices; happiness isn’t one of them.
What is the true reason you are afraid of being alone? Are you unwilling to confront your own thoughts and examine the true source of your unhappiness? Are you comfortable in your own skin? I don’t write these questions to attack; I write these questions from personal experience. The road to discovery isn’t the most comfortable experience, but it’s the most important journey we can make.
Love,
Mr. J
Dear Afraid To Move On,
Fear. It is the number one reason why people don’t do the things they really want to do. You may love the person you are with, but you both deserve happiness. If you are unhappy, chances are your significant other isn’t either and if he/she isn’t there yet they eventually will be. It’s just a matter of time.
Staying in a relationship out of fear is a recipe for disaster. No one wants to be alone, but once you take the leap you may find that you like yourself and being on your own isn’t so bad. Having company and companionship is great, but knowing you can be happy on your own is better. It will make for healthier relationships in the future and a happier you.
Good Luck!
Love,
Miss J
© LoveJays 2013
When you fear being alone you do such a thing as finding someone to cover up your loneliness this is making them responsible for this hole inside you, at some point this becomes where the need or lack of need falls into a deeper place inside you, making each other responsible for something you can’t see cause it feels comfortable after you have allowed it to stay there. This can be truly a painful experience if you never find this out before it is to late. You will go back and forth with each other making right or wrong the only thing you can see, the need for them to be with you because you fear loneliness. Never seeing this hole is the place love needs to be and it requires your own love to yourself to give this hole a chance to be filled. It is powerful in it’s ability to not only be confronted it will bring you a stronger love you never felt possible because you made this choice and moved the illusion of fear out of your being in love with what truly matters… Yourself! Once removed the truth about being alone is uncovered and you are the truth… you are love! 🙂
Re: Afraid to be alone- I’ve been married twice. After my second divorce I made the conscious choice to embrace my singlehood. I fell in love with ME!!! I am currently starting a new relationship and happy so far. I have a lot more to offer him now that I went through that process. If you don’t take the time to heal and love you, you will not have anything to offer a new partner in the future.