Because I Have to Exercise

One day while running like a maniac on the treadmill, I thought to myself, “Why don’t I do this more often?”

Exercising feels good, once you get going, but I often opt out of workouts because either a) I don’t have a plan of attack or b) I don’t have the right tune, and obviously c) I don’t wanna.

In the past, I could get away with sporadic workout sessions. I danced non-stop from the age of five through early adulthood, enjoy the occasional jog, and try to remain as active as possible. Now that I am a full fledged adult (allegedly), I have noticed that my body has its own agenda. Places that were once toned have gone soft and it’s no longer a sane option to do minimal workout and expect optimal health.

On a mission to amend this issue, I reached out to my friend, Natalie. She has her own fitness blog and has done the necessary coursework to become an ACE certified group fitness instructor. I asked Natalie if she could design a six week program that I could participate in, and also share with all of you. She she said yes!

So here we are. A week before the challenge begins and I would love for you to join me. It’s absolutely free. I am a huge proponent of teamwork and I think you are more likely to stick to something when you aren’t in it alone. This challenge is about overall health, not just looking great, but it is an added bonus of taking the time to take care of yourself. There is also a chance to win a $100 Nike gift card…who doesn’t love a good gift card?

Six Weeks ‘Til Summer Program Details:

  • Two (2) workouts will be posted at the top of every week starting May 9. The program will continue through June 19. You can choose how you want to divvy them up.
  • We provide a playlist to accompany each workout + 6 Cardio Playlists + 2 post-workout stretch playlists.

How to Enter Raffle

  • Follow @TheRealLoveJays and @MuffinsandMiles on Instagram
  • Post a photo between May 9 – June 19 using the hashtag #SixWeeksTilSummerChallenge
  • Raffle Prize: $100 Nike gift card

 

I hope you will join me!

XOXO

JOY

#LEMON(SH)ADE

Lemonade

Justin and Joy react to Beyoncé’s newest album, LEMONADE. Spoiler Alert: We address ALL the shade!

Elevator Pitch

  • Beyoncé dropped a BOMB all over the internet and sparked a revolution.
  • Joy’s appreciation of Beyoncé revealing the truth about cheating.
  • Society conditioning women to expect infidelity.
  • Rachel Roy thickening the plot right before our eyes.
  • Woman code vs. man code.
  • Respecting boundaries.
  • Rest in Power, Prince.
  • And much more!

Spread the Word

If you enjoyed the episode, please leave us a review on iTunes and share it with your friends! Connect with us on TwitterFacebook, and Instagram to share your thoughts about the show.

Confusing Kiss

Dear Love Jays:

I have known this guy a couple of years now. We kissed a couple of months ago, and now he acts like it never happened or he does not want to talk about it. I have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend, but I still think about our kiss and I’m kind of jealous when he talks about other girls. I want to tell him how I feel but I’m scared. What should I do?

Dear A Kiss I Can’t Forget:

I can go in multiple directions regarding this question. Did the kiss happen while you were both in a relationship or single? How did the kiss happen? Was it just a peck or an intense make-out session? Did it happen only once?
So.Many.Questions. Thanks for leaving me in the dark.
Side-eye.
Despite the possible outcomes regarding the above questions, it’s probably best to just keep your feelings to yourself. He likely doesn’t want to talk about it because (a) he cheated on his girlfriend by kissing you and doesn’t want to get caught up, (b) he really enjoyed the kiss, but is committed to his girlfriend, so he’s pretending it never happened to avoid facing the reality of liking another girl, or (c) he hasn’t thought much about it and didn’t think the kiss was a big deal.
Exploring these feelings while both of you are in a relationship will likely lead to an unfavorable outcome. Keep the friendship casual and observe how things go on both ends over the next few months. If you start getting hints that he has feelings for you, act accordingly. But don’t jump the gun and leave yourself unnecessarily exposed.
Mr. J

Dear Unforgettable Kiss:

First, you need to think long and hard about what it is you are trying to accomplish by spilling your heart to a man that, so far, has had no interest in pouring his heart out to you. Also, their are two other parties involved and they deserve fair treatment. Your current boyfriend should be more than a plan B for you, so regardless of how the man you kissed feels about you, you should probably let fall back guy move on.
Next, you should consider that you could be your friend’s plan B. Is that good enough for you? Probably not. He has a girlfriend, he hasn’t acknowledged your kiss, and he talks about other women in your presence? That sounds like someone that is full of bologna and you do not need that in your life, not now, not ever.
If this man is interested in a relationship with you, he will absolutely let you know.
Miss J

The Secret Sauce

secret sauce

Justin and Joy explore how they have maintained their relationship for the past 8 years. Can you guess the special ingredients in their secret sauce?

Elevator Pitch

  • Learn the six special ingredients Justin and Joy prioritize in their relationship.
  • Why Justin hates getting plucked in the head.
  • Joy’s reasoning on letting dishes stack up in the sink.
  • Justin’s systematic approach to everything.
  • Warning: We say patience a lot.
  • And much more!

Spread the Word

If you enjoyed the episode, please share it with your friends! Connect with us on TwitterFacebook, and Instagram to share your thoughts about the show.

Keeping It Tucked Away

Dear Love Jays:

Hi, I am celibate, but I can’t find a man who will just keep it in his pants. Sometimes, I feel like I need to lose my virginity. Help!

Dear *Sigh*:

I.Feel.You.

Celibacy is not for everyone, in fact, it’s not for most people. People like sex and more than that, they are obsessed with it. You take sex out of the equation and either the person is completely uninterested or they see getting in your pants as a challenge. In the end, sex is still the goal.

Although this all may seem incredibly discouraging, I encourage you to keep up the good fight. Virginity is not something you should lose for any other reason than being ready for the right reason. Your temple, your rules. Sex will not keep a man, at least not in the way you would want it to. Save yourself for someone who actually deserves to enter your temple, you’ll thank yourself later.​

Miss J

Dear It’s Hard Out Here:

Much respect and congratulations for making the decision to remain celibate. You will likely save yourself some heartache on the path to discovering Mr. Right.

Here’s the truth: most men are horny. Even when we try to curb our sexual appetite, it comes rushing back like a great wave heading towards shore. We can try to keep swimming under the wave, but eventually, one of those waves will be too big to avoid. It also doesn’t help that we live in a hypersexualized society where it’s easier to access sexual stimulation than clean water.

Additionally, celibacy is perceived to be a religious practice. A growing number of people are becoming less affiliated with organized religion, consequently resulting in a smaller group who prioritize celibacy.

I encourage you to remain steadfast in your belief and pray for a likeminded individual to come your way. Do not compromise your morals just to appease today’s standards. You will find great reward in developing an intimate relationship without the pressures of sex.

Mr. J

My Summer with Kobe Bryant

Growing up 30 miles east of Los Angeles, it was difficult to root for any other team. Purple and gold paraphernalia littered the streets every time I left the house. During the championship three-peat in the early 2000’s, just about every single car had a Lakers flag attached to their window. Us included. The city was alive and my passion for basketball began to burn.

I grew up a Michael Jordan fan. I loved everything about his game. His sweet pull-up jumper. His deadly fadeaway in the mid-post. His ability to dominate and destroy every time he walked on the court. And it just wasn’t the moves. His charismatic demeanor drew me in every time I watched.

Kobe didn’t have the same impression. He annoyed me. His arrogance and selfishness turned me away. He wanted to be Michael Jordan, but he wasn’t. He couldn’t dethrone my idol. Hell, I was even hoping the Lakers shipped him over Shaq.

I didn’t want to see Kobe succeed.

As the years went by, my passion for basketball continued to deepen. I started watching basketball differently. I wasn’t watching just as a fan for entertainment. I observed the little things: how were their feet positioned when they caught the ball, how did they take advantage of mismatches, did they have consistent shooting mechanics every time they shot the ball? It’s always the little things that make the biggest difference.

Jordan wasn’t in the league any longer and the Lakers were always on TV, so I decided to follow Kobe more closely. I ignored my personal feelings toward him and just watched him play. And by play, I mean dominate.

Dominate. Dominate. Dominate.

Night in and night out, he destroyed defenders and made the game look easy. He was relentless when he stepped on the court. He wasn’t there to make friends. He didn’t care if he was hated. He wanted to win at all cost and was going to do whatever it took to get there.

The more I watched, the more I respected him. The qualities that pissed me off before were now the things I respected most.

Kobe was an unapologetic asshole with one goal: WIN. And I loved it!

Fast forward to summer 2014.

I’m sitting at home when I get a text from a colleague telling me Kobe Bryant is coming to our gym tomorrow. I was working another job and wasn’t going to be in the next day, so I convinced myself it wouldn’t happen. The next morning, I get a text with only a picture.

Kobe Bryant was working out on our courts.

I could hardly sleep the following night. I spent the previous years watching the subtle movements Kobe made on the court and now I get the opportunity to watch him fine tune his craft in person? It was a dream come true.

I bolted out the house the following morning, racing down the 5-Freeway to ensure I arrived before his 7:15 AM scheduled workout. I nervously paced trying to keep cool and “act like I’d been there before”, but I couldn’t contain myself. A few moments later, there he was: Kobe Bryant, walking through the door.

It was the first of 20+ workouts I watched or assisted with that summer. Every morning, 7:15 AM, Kobe walked through that back door and came ready to work.

There wasn’t a “Good Morning” or “How are you?” greeting. It was only a salute or nod.

He’d spend the first 15-minutes getting stretched out, then make his way to the court and put himself through a minimal ball handling routine before getting up shots. He always started a few feet from the rim, making 10 shots with each hand at three separate spots. He would then move to mid-range jumpers, making 10-20 at each spot. Once those were finished, he moved out to the three-point line and repeated the process.

After finishing up this routine, he moved on to the best part of the workout: the mid-post.

The moves we all came to love: Jab, shot-fake. Jab, shot-fake, dribble. Right side, left side. The moves every defender knew was coming, yet, still couldn’t stop was being finely tuned right before my eyes. Every single rep was game speed. No wasted movements. Laser focused. It was if he was imagining a defender in front of him every time he made the move.

He would finish up the workout with more spot shooting, followed by free-throws.

Day in, day out. The same workout. Over and over and over again.

People often ask what was the most memorable moment from that summer with Kobe Bryant. The time he told me to shut up and called me a motherfucker because I was laughing with Nick Young about the Drew League midway through the workout? The day he spent an entire workout doing defensive slides and only shot free-throws? Stopping the workout because I passed the ball a millisecond too soon? Beating him and Kanye West in a 17 on his final workout?

It’s hard to pick one moment that stands out above the rest. Getting the opportunity to share the court with Kobe Bryant as he mastered his craft was an experience I will always cherish.

Today marks the end of an era.

It will be the last time we watch Kobe Bryant adorn the Purple and Gold. The last time we see the Mamba stare. The last time he pulls up for his signature elbow jumper. The last time he walks off the Staples Center floor.

Kobe Bryant: Thank you for giving Los Angeles and the world 20 years of unrelenting excellence. Your legacy will live on forever.

Salute.