He’s My Co-Worker and He Might Have a Girlfriend…

 

Q: Dear Love Jays,

We all know the old adage:”Don’t shit where you eat.” But things are changing, right? Dating co-workers is… kind of okay, right? There’s this guy that I’ve recently started talking to and we’ve been working together on a couple of projects lately. On these projects, he’s a little bit more of my superior. Is that okay to date him? Also, he might possibly have a girlfriend. What is there to lose but at the same time, how invested do I really get?

A: Dear Co-Worker with a Girlfriend…Maybe,

I am going to keep this short and sweet. You said, “he might possibly have a girlfriend”. Stop there. Does he have a girlfriend, yes or no? That is a very important piece of information. If he does, you have everything to lose. I am going to tell you what a wise woman once told me. How you get a man is how you lose a man. You are more than welcome to be his friend, but have respect for his relationship. If you feel you are unable to do so, cease-fire.

Moving on, In my current workplace several of my co-workers are married and they met while working here. A workplace relationship can definitely work. With that said, if you are just looking for a fling/good time I would caution against it.

Hope this helps! 

Love,

Miss J 

A:Dear Dating in the Workplace,

Dating one of your co-workers is commonly frowned upon and often discouraged. Our place of employment is somewhere we go to make a decent living, improve upon our skill sets, and possibly make some new friends.

I’m sure we have all been told at one point or another to keep our work life and personal life separate; however, I find it a bit unrealistic to ask people to avoid letting the 40-50+ hours we spend with other people not to have some cross influence. I definitely agree there’s a definitive line of what we should/shouldn’t discuss with our co-workers nor fall victim into believing everyone we work with is a friend, but let’s acknowledge the simple fact that our work life and personal life aren’t 100% independent from one another.

Onto my opinion.

I’m definitely open to the idea of dating in the workplace, but if the person we are interested in dating has a direct influence on our day-to-day job and responsibilities, I would caution against it. Regardless of how “cool” our supervisors act or how laxed the work environment is designed, our place of employment is a business and we should exercise good sense when making certain decisions. How does the old saying go? “It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.” It’s very possible the two of you could end up dating without it negatively effecting your work situation, but you would be doing yourself a disservice by not assessing the consequences on both sides.

Oh, and to answer your question on what is there to lose…your job, maybe? Just a thought. It’s extreme and unlikely, I understand. Still, it’s something to think about! One more thing…let’s not forget to acknowledge the possibility that he may have a girlfriend.

Sincerely,

Mr. J

Have a Question for the Love Jays?

[contact-form][contact-field label=’Submit Questions Anonymously Below: ‘ type=’textarea’/][/contact-form]

© LoveJays 2013