Q: Dear Love Jays,
So I really just need to start dating and meeting new people. I’ve been going out and exchanging numbers BUT I don’t know what to do next. How soon is too soon to text them? or should I not at all? what do you say? cause I hate those text that go nowhere like “what’s up” blahhh idk…any advice?
A: Dear Meaningless Text Conversations,
Meeting new people always proves to be interesting. We typically plan on looking our best when going out to places where a potential prospect could be awaiting, but we really never know when we may meet someone who strikes our eye. The spontaneity of engaging with someone random seems to remove the awkwardness and allow both people to just be themselves – no facades or planned out strategies. I’m an avid people lover who is notorious for talking to anyone willing to entertain my foolishness; surprisingly, most of the engagements are fun and have resulted in great friendships.
My point? Stop trying to plan ways of meeting and dating new people. Focus your energy into discovering new things about yourself – interests, hobbies, movies, books, food, etc. It’s very easy to ignore ourselves en route to seeking companionship. As we learn more about ourselves, our confidence, happiness and personal well-being elevate and others will notice. Next thing you know…BOOM! People are coming out the woowork trying to learn more about you. Good things always come when we least expect it, so pump your brakes and ride slow.
In regards to your actual question, dial the number and have a verbal conversation! Texting should be reserved for it’s intended purpose – short messaging service (SMS). If you truly want to get to know someone, emoticons and abbreviated language isn’t the best way. Using a phone in 2012 to talk is a foreign concept, but I feel a revolution coming…at least I hope. Cheers!
Sincerely,
Mr. J
A: Dear Any Advice,
Congrats on making the decision to get out there and meet new people. You are one step closer to making things happen.
The dating game is tricky and I am in no way an expert. You sound like you want to skip the small talk and go straight for the dating; in a nutshell, you mean business. The only problem with that equation is that it takes two to tango. What type of places are you going? Are you giving your number out at the club or at the local coffee shop?
Chances are if you are giving your number out at a place where you can’t really talk to a person than you are going to get lame text messages with an unbearable amount of small talk. At a setting like “da club” you may not find a “deep” connection. You will get a lot of surface level interaction while there and that surface level of “getting to know you” will continue afterwards. Most people in that type of social setting are looking for more of a short-term good time than they are love….typically.
With that said, if you are going to a poetry night or even a game of some sort your chances of making a deeper connection are better. Not only are you meeting people with similar interest that you will have something other than “what’s up” to say to them, but you will more than likely have a conversation to pick up from.
As far as the ‘how long do you wait’ question… I have no idea! If you are a woman I would say a man will probably contact you if he is really interested and if you are a man I would say don’t wait longer than 2 days. Hope this helps!
Love,
Miss J
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