Q:Dear Love Jays,
My fiance goes out to bars and stuff. Recently, I saw him texting a female who he said is just a friend. What is your view on guys having females as friend who they meet after already being in a relationship.
A:Dear Feeling Friendly,
Developing new friendships of the opposite sex, while in a relationship, can often be a bit tricky. We are naturally attracted to like-minded people and it’s impossible to completely “turn-off” our friendly demeanor because we are in a committed relationship. We have all met some of our friends at the most random of places or times, yet that is the beauty of life and these friendships.
I’ve always been an active proponent for developing new friendships throughout our various stages of life; however, it is very important to exercise common decency and respect when developing new friendships. Our intentions may be completely innocent and pure, but those same intentions may not be reciprocated by the other person. Miss J has often expressed that women are more attracted to men who are in relationships because it shows that these men have the capability of committing. As much as I have tried ignoring this statement, it has proven to be true more times than not.
I’m not against making new friends of the opposite sex, but it’s critical to make your significant other aware of this newly formed friendship. If introducing the two would cause a problem, chances are very likely this “friendship” probably shouldn’t exist.
Love,
Mr. J
A: Dear Female Friends,
My initial response is to say there is no such thing as a new female friend. Yea…that’s about it.
- She’s your Friend. (The girlfriend’s friend)
- She’s a work friend, that he leaves at work.
- She’s a friend from class, that he leaves in the classroom.
There should be no one-on-one hanging out. Texting is okay, but not in length.
“Hey, what time is the mandatory meeting tomorrow?”
*his response should be short and sweet and as should hers.
“Hey, how was your day? I was bummed in that meeting at work today, but then I saw you and it made me smile. xoxo”
Good Luck!
Love,
Miss J
© LoveJays 2013