Q: Dear Love Jays,
How do you change your player ways and commit to someone not physically present?
A: Dear Changing your ways,
Short answer: self-control.
Long answer: self-control.
Hanging up the player ways isn’t easy. It requires you to be honest with yourself, acknowledging your shortcomings, then committing to self-control and discipline. Temptation lurks at every corner waiting for us to slip up and it’s easy to fall victim if you are not disciplined enough to reject it.
I’ve heard people say, “When you find the right one, it’ll be easy.”, but I don’t fully agree. It will undoubtedly motivate you to get your act together, but it still requires an intrinsic motivation to change. People only change if they want to change!
If you require physical interaction (hugging, kissing, sex, etc.) from your partner and the current circumstances aren’t allowing for that interaction, I find it very, very difficult to fully commit to someone without succumbing to your old ways. It’s not impossible, but it sure in the hell ain’t easy! Why set yourself up for failure and risk hurt or losing a good person? Remain uncommitted and trust everything will work out the way it’s designed!
Sincerely,
Mr. J
A: Don’t wanna be a player no mo’,
Tough question, easy answer. You just do. Make the decision to change and stick to it. Being a player takes a lot of coordination and effort (more for some and less for others). If you really WANT to change whether or not the person is in front of you is irrelevant. Is it convenient? No. Will there be challenges? Absolutely. Whether or not someone is physically there should not make a difference as far as commitment goes. Commitment has nothing to do with who is involved and has everything to do with you. Good Luck!
Love,
Miss J
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