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Afraid Of Being Alone

Love Jays

Dear Love Jays,

I am unhappy in my relationship, but I love my significant other while also being afraid of being alone. Advice?

Dear Unhappily Staying,

Happiness: Life’s ultimate goal.

Sacrificing your happiness out of fear of being alone is ultimately hurting your own personal growth and development. When we love someone, our logical processes sometimes get disrupted by the heart’s overwhelming power and we may ignore some important triggers along the way. Before we can fully love someone, we must learn to love and respect ourselves. Casting aside our own personal well-being for love’s sake isn’t love at all; it’s deception at it’s finest. Every relationship requires us to make sacrifices; happiness isn’t one of them.

What is the true reason you are afraid of being alone? Are you unwilling to confront your own thoughts and examine the true source of your unhappiness? Are you comfortable in your own skin? I don’t write these questions to attack; I write these questions from personal experience. The road to discovery isn’t the most comfortable experience, but it’s the most important journey we can make.

Love,

Mr. J

Dear Afraid To Move On,

Fear. It is the number one reason why people don’t do the things they really want to do. You may love the person you are with, but you both deserve happiness. If you are unhappy, chances are your significant other isn’t either and if he/she isn’t there yet they eventually will be. It’s just a matter of time.

Staying in a relationship out of fear is a recipe for disaster. No one wants to be alone, but once you take the leap you may find that you like yourself and being on your own isn’t so bad. Having company and companionship is great, but knowing you can be happy on your own is better. It will make for  healthier relationships in the future and a happier you.

Good Luck!

Love,

Miss J

© LoveJays 2013

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How Men Become Dogs

How Men Become Dogs

Happy Tuesday Love Fans!

We have something special for you today. 🙂

Many woman wonder why men are such dogs; the new YouTube series, “How Men Become Dogs”, addresses that very question. We are so excited to announce they will be our guest on this week’s Love Jays Radio Show on TradioV. Take a look at the video and feel free to call and join in the conversation on Saturday morning @ 11am PST!

Love,

J&J

How Men Become Dogs: Episode 1

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEuuQ6t-UEk]

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Individual Values On Opposite Ends

Religion vs. Science

Q: Dear Love Jays,

What’s your opinion on two people being in a long-term relationship where they have very different values?

A: Dear Differing Values,

Values are at our core. The way we think, act, or speak all boils down to our value system. Most values are developed from our religious beliefs or lack thereof, and we tend to hold very, very strongly to these convictions (sometimes to a fault). When engaging with someone whose values contradict our own, we often times distance ourselves or participate in never-ending arguments on why each other’s beliefs are “correct”. Don’t believe me? Take a look at Congress and formulate your own opinions.

While differing opinions make life interesting, formulating a long-term relationship with some whose values are “very different” may prove risky, especially when children get involved. I refuse to put someone down for believing in something differently than me, but why put myself in a situation where I’m continually left defending my point of view and subjecting myself to criticism?

Relationships are built on people. If values are at the core of every person, how can we build a strong relationship with someone whose foundation isn’t cut from the same material? It’s not impossible and there are exceptions to all rules, but compromising WHO we are shouldn’t be a relationship requirement.

Love,

Mr. J

A: Dear Different Strokes for Different Folks,

Jumping straight in…

Your values are at your core, who you are is based upon what you believe in. On every level, not just when it comes to religion. It’s okay for two people to have value systems that are similar, but slightly differ. You can work with that.

Now, in your case you are saying you have “very different values”, this leads me to believe there are very little similarities, if any at all. The saying “opposites attract” is valid, but only when speaking of hobbies and interest. Your values don’t have to be identical, but they should be pretty darn close. I would think it would be hard to be with someone, long-term or otherwise, who stands for everything you don’t.

Love,

Miss J

© LoveJays 2013