Q: Dear Love Jays,
I started dating my boyfriend when I was 21 and we’ve been together 3 years now. It bugs me when other people dismiss relationships that start young as “young love” that must inevitably pass. I think people are so cynical about relationships nowadays. I know you guys are young and serious too…do you think people are correct in the assumption that you have to find someone when you are older for it to last?
A: Dear Young and in Love,
Those who dismiss relationships between young people as purely “young love” and something that must pass are typically making judgements based on their own personal experiences. Just think about how different the dating scene of today is compared to 20 years ago! Technology has truly revolutionized how people communicate and our current generation is right in the thick of it all. We are constantly “plugged in” and can be accessed by anyone (literally – anyone from around the world) in a click of a button. Whereas 20 years ago, if you didn’t want to be contacted by people, it was relatively easy to focus on the matters of the self and enjoy time all to yourself.
Even though technology has made means of dating and love much more prevalent in our generation, the reality is that love is completely non-discriminatory and does not have an age limit. You could be 16 and fall in love, just as you can be 60 and find love for the first time! Each person experiences a different route in finding love, so it is completely biased and unfair to say that someone’s relationship is not real simply because of their age. We cannot deny the fact that young relationships often exhibit great immaturity and requires a steady maturation process, but at the end of the day, maturation doesn’t stop in your 20’s. We are constantly evolving and maturing in every stage of life; the process is just much more visual while we are young.
In regards to the nonsense that one should be older to find a relationship to last – I’m pretty sure older people are still getting divorces, too! We have each been blessed to find love at a young age, so embrace it and ignore what others have to say. I wouldn’t be surprised if 75% of the people saying this foolery are single, divorced, or never-married!
Bitter party of 2? Your table is ready!
Sincerely,
Mr. J
A: Dear Real Love,
Absolutely not! You know what they say about assuming…it makes an a** out of you and me. It’s not about being the “right” age it’s about being with the right person. Love does not discriminate.
People do not mean any harm when they say you are experiencing “young love”, what they mean is you are loving as if you have never been burned before, your walls aren’t as high and you aren’t loving in a guarded way. You can experience young love at any age really. The older you are and the more sour experiences you have, the more skeptical you are. For those people young love is not lasting love. On the flip side there are other older couples who have been together since their 20’s and they are still going strong. Their young love did grow into a lasting love.
No one really knows what you and your boyfriend have, but you and your boyfriend. If you know you are in love and you two have each other’s back then I say let the haters hate, they will eventually see what you have is real 🙂
Love,
Miss J
© LoveJays 2012
