Thoughts Archives - Page 4 of 7 - Love Jays

January 26, 2013April 7, 2016

Unconditional Love Part 2

Last week, I wrote a post about the existence of unconditional love.

I thought love would be hard to define, but as it turns out several people have already done so. The Merrian-Webster Dictionary defines Love as:

While this definition is accurate (obviously), I was more interested in finding different categories of love. In addition to having our own love language, which is how we communicate love; we also love differently at the core. John Lee divided these types of love into 6 categories of love style. They are as follows:

Eros: a passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment; stereotype of romantic Love.

My thoughts: So basically this means as long as you are happy and enjoy that person, you love them. Not unconditional.

Ludus: a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest; may have multiple partners at once.

MyThoughts: Non-committal love. Going to go ahead and say this is probably conditional too. The condition being who’s bed you are in that night.

Storge: An affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity.

My Thoughts: This has to be unconditional, right? You love them because they are like you and you are friends. But what if one person changes? Maybe this one has conditions too.

Pragma: Love that is driven by the head, not the heart; undemonstrative.

My Thoughts: I think it would be difficult to logically love someone unconditionally. You have to leave matters of the heart to the heart. Your head is no place for unconditional love because it’s already occupied by your conditions.

Mania: obsessive love; experience great emotional highs and lows; very possessive and often jealous lovers.

My Thoughts: Going to leave this one alone for now. Obsession is not love and the condition is craziness.

Agape: selfless altruistic love

My Thoughts: This has to be unconditional. If you truly love someone selflessly, you can love them no matter what. Conditions aside.

Well, that was kind of a bust! I was hoping more of the categories would show some promising traits of unconditional love. At least now, I know moving forward, unconditional love requires complete selflessness. And so the journey continues…

Love,

Miss J

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January 23, 2013April 7, 2016

Fixing our Focus

As media firestorms continue to take over the front page news and the internet, I can’t help but continually ask myself “Why?”. Negative story after negative. Silly questions flying off reporter’s tongues. Precious time wasted trying to uncover the “wrong-doings” of another. Why do we as a country salivate on the manipulation, harassment, embarrassment, and humiliation of others? Why is Manti Te’o still being talked about in the news? Why are people still questioning if President Obama is a U.S. citizen? Why is TMZ the most popular news source? Why, oh why, must we focus our attention in all the wrong places?

Distraction.

Distraction is the one action that could hold us back from obtaining and achieving everything we want in life. Friends, television shows, parties, sleep, cell phones, sporting events, jobs…you name it and I’m willing to bet these have served as a distraction in our lives. Our generation is buzzing 24/7 – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Reddit – our itch to stay relative on what’s hot constantly steals our attention. When we get a chance to lookup…hours, days, weeks or months have passed and we haven’t much to show.

Distraction.

Distraction is a synonym for destruction. If we allow ourselves to continually lose focus on the dreams we want to achieve, the friend we want to become or the man we want to represent, we will slowly find ourselves looking up and questioning how we ended up at this destination. The place we land may not appear to have cracks in the floor, dirt on the walls or dust on the furniture, but anytime we fall short of the place we are destined to occupy, we have shortchanged ourselves.

Distraction.

We can no longer afford distraction to consume our lives. We have too many talents and too much drive to let the world around us prevent us from living out our purpose. What is distracting you? More importantly, who is distracting you? Are you willing to clear the white noise from your life and focus on what you love?

If you are willing, I’m ready to ride with you. I’m not perfect and I’m distracted all the time. I write this post not just for you, but for us. I need some people to ride shotgun in my vehicle to success. I can’t do it alone. Grab the keys and let’s readjust or focus.

Looking forward to an amazing drive.

Love,

Mr. J

January 16, 2013April 7, 2016

Unconditional Love Part 1

This will probably be a 2 or 3 parter so bear with me!

During the holiday season I had a conversation that really struck a chord. My family and I were sitting around the dinner table and a family member brought up the concept of unconditional love. His argument was that unconditional love does not really exist because everyone’s love has conditions.

Admittedly I was quick to agree. It made perfect sense. For example, I have a HUGE problem with cheating. I don’t understand it and I see it as a valid reason to terminate a relationship. Ergo my love has a limit and/or condition. Some challenged the idea; however eventually,like me, they were pretty quick to accept love is indeed conditional.

The conversation died down just as fast as it started and soon we were back to talking about turkey and family gossip, but I couldn’t shake the realization that unconditional love does not and never did exist.

From that point on I went on a “love bender”. I was devastated. How is it that I am not capable of loving unconditionally? Wait a minute, if that’s true than the reverse must be too. I can’t be loved unconditionally? What a cruel joke life had pulled!

I decided I was going to have to find the answer for myself. If it turned out to be true, fine. I would just have to deal with it. If it turned out to be false, awesome! So for the next couple of weeks I will take you through my journey and what I discovered about unconditional love.

In the meantime, what are your thoughts? Do you think love has conditions? If yes, why? If no, why not? I want to hear from you!

Love,

Miss J

See Unconditional Love Part 2 here!

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While we ponder love’s conditions, listen to this song about falling in love having a condition 🙂 How did I not notice this before?!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfAb0gNPy6s]

December 20, 2012April 7, 2016

For the Love of Hip Hop

If you are a hip hop artist or just a fan of hip hop in general, this video is definitely worth checking out.

You’re Welcome.

Love,
J&J

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWK2CMoi1BA]

November 21, 2012April 7, 2016

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving

The holidays are the best time of the year. We spend quality time with family and friends (some who we haven’t seen in years), indulge in over consumption of home-cooked meals, drink endless bottles of wine and champagne, play fun games and find out interesting facts about the people you have known your whole life, laugh the night away, snuggle in front of the fire, listen to holiday music, watch your favorite movies, but most importantly, we get the opportunity to simply enjoy life and be grateful for the friends and family in our lives.

Far too often, we get caught in our day-to-day and take for granted the opportunities we have been afforded, the places we have visited and the people nearest to our heart. It’s not often we get a chance to unplug from the world and focus our attention to what really matters in life. So for this holiday season, I challenge all of you to spend time with your love ones, reach out to old friends, say I love you, cry a little bit, smile. Extend your thank yous beyond those who have prepared the Thanksgiving feast and spend quality time reflecting on all your blessings and truly give thanks.

I want to take this opportunity to give a sincere thank you to everyone who has supported the Love Jays and has played a part in its success. I could have never imagined how rewarding it has been helping friends and strangers navigate through life. I am deeply humbled by all of you and can’t express my appreciation enough. Miss J, I love you more words can describe and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you. To all my friends and family, thank you for supporting me in all my endeavors and I look forward to celebrating many more victories with you.

Happy Holidays!

With gratitude,

Mr. J

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November 14, 2012April 7, 2016

Wedding vs. Marriage

Happy Wednesday Love Fans!

This morning I ran across and article that got me thinking…The majority of women out there (myself included) have been dreaming of their wedding day since they were 10 years old. They have it all planned out down to the last detail. The dress, the guest, the flowers, and the cake; all of it! Would you be willing to trade your dream dress for a sheet, your guest for nurses, and your cake for brownies from a hospital cafeteria? Check out the story below and share your thoughts!

Bride Weds in Bedsheet

(Source: Yahoo!)

Last week, an Ohio hospital transformed into a full-service wedding hall for a pregnant patient’s special day. Nurses became wedding planners, patients provided bridal accessories, and the gift shop catered the whole affair. Just hours later, the bride became a patient again when the staff delivered her baby.

It wasn’t every bride’s fantasy venue, but for Cynthia Reese it was perfect.

“Everything went so well with the wedding, that the baby wanted to come see it too,” joked the exhausted new mom during a phone interview with Yahoo! Shine.

Reese, 27, was seven months pregnant last Monday when her water broke.

“I was mopping up the floor at work when it happened,” says the Aeropostale sales assistant. “It was really terrifying.”

She immediately checked in to Akron General Medical Center for fetal monitoring as doctors tried to slow down her contractions. She was put on bed rest and checked into the hospital for the duration of her pregnancy. The biggest concern for Reese and her fiancé, Michael Bof, was having a healthy baby. But the early delivery also meant they wouldn’t be married as they’d hoped when the baby arrived.

“We couldn’t afford anything so we were just going to go to the court before the baby came, and make it official,” says Reese, who discovered she was pregnant three weeks after getting engaged. “I just wanted to be married.”

The bride wore a white sheets.

Since Reese couldn’t make it to court, Bof brought the judge to his bride, and coordinated with the hospital to hold a brief ceremony in the on-site chapel. It was supposed to be a low-key thing, until staff at the hospital stepped it up a notch.

“All the nurses on floor that helped me with the wedding,” says Reese. “As soon as my one nurse, Melody, found out I was going to wear my hospital gown to the ceremony, she was like ‘Oh no girl.'”

“I thought about doing something long with a train, but the sheet was too thin,” senior nurse tech Melody White told the Akron Beacon Journal. Using safety pins she fashioned a white sheet into a toga and wrapped a blue vitals monitor belt around her waist for a sash. Another patient on the floor offered up some baby’s breath, from her own flower arrangement, for the bride’s hairpiece.

Meanwhile, the dietary department kicked in some brownies as a cake. The gift shop donated chips and dip, and provided decorations for the reception in Reese’s room. One of the nurses found a bridal cake-topper in the gift shop. Someone in the medical photography department was called into be the wedding photographer. A visitor even played the Wedding March on the lobby piano as the bride was wheeled into the chapel.

Nurse Melody White shows Cynthia the gift shop figurine she found for the wedding.

“I can’t believe I didn’t have to pay for a wedding,” says the astonished bride.

The next day, it was back business when the new bride became a new mom. Michael Frederick Bof II was born on Thursday, weighing in at 4 pounds, 12 ounces. “He came out crying, which we didn’t expect—it was a miracle,” says Reese.

Because of his early arrival, little Michael is staying on at Akron General for the next two to three weeks. The newlyweds are spending most of their time in the hospital with their newborn. Unfortunately, Akron General doesn’t do honeymoon packages. “We’d like to take a real honeymoon down the road, but we’ve got a little guy now,” says Reese. “You know how life is.”

For now, her only post-wedding plan involves finding a place in her closet for her bed sheet bridal gown. “I’m totally going to keep it,” she says. “It’s the cheapest wedding dress ever made.”

So there you have it! You may not have your dream wedding or even the wedding you planned, but it does not mean your moment is any less special. The fairy tale lies within finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with, not in how magical your wedding is.

Love,

Miss J

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