Q: Dear Love Jays:
Does a relationship stand a chance if you don’t get along with each others families?
A: Dear I Love Him, But His Family…,
If he is close with his family and she is close with her family, yet one of them does not get along with the other’s family – the relationship doesn’t stand a fighting chance. Period.
We are who we are because of our family – literally (genes, characteristic traits, beliefs, etc). We are consistently influenced by our family. Family is everything. It’s vital in any successful relationship for each party to develop a healthy relationship with each other’s family. The two parties do not have to become best of friends with the parents of the significant other, but a level of respect and enjoyment is essential. Why would you want to date someone who didn’t like your parents or vice versa? It’s highly unlikely for a family to dislike your significant other “just because”. It’s something to seriously consider and I encourage all couples to be very careful in taking your relationship to the next level if family issues are present.
Sincerely,
Mr. J
A: Dear Probably not,
Is it possible…yes, but is it probable…no.
I would say if your significant other is not close with their family then you might be able to make it work. You don’t like them but hey who cares because your partner doesn’t either. But be weary, you should always question why the person you want to be close to is not close to the people who should be closest to them. What has effect has it had on their character? There are some cases in which it is necessary to stay at arms length from your family (abuse, secrets, betrayal ect…).
I am sure you have heard the expression “When you marry someone you marry their family”. If you are dating someone and you are thinking of marriage but you cannot stand their family, I suggest you start trying to build a relationship with them. If things happened in the past that you are not proud of own up to it and let them know you are serious about your partner and you would really like to develop a fresh, new, and healthy relationship with them.
If the family has done dirt to you forgive them and move on. If they continue to “act up” have a discussion with your significant other and express that you want to develop a solid relationship with them. You don’t have to besties, but there should be a mutual respect on both ends.
Do not get it twisted.9 times out of 10 if your girlfriend/boyfriend is super close with his/her family and you come in raising hell because you don’t get along with/like them someone is going to have to go and it is not going to be the family; but don’t fret, chances are if you didn’t like your partner’s family you probably would have eventually not liked them.The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Love,
Miss J
© LoveJays 2012