Q: Dear Love Jays,
For younger couples-
Since this a time focused on discovery and growth, Do you think open relationships can be succesful?
A: Dear Open Relationship,
Open relationships…people really have these? Oops, let me get to the question.
Can open relationships be successful? Sure. Will open relationships typically turn into a serious and loving relationship? I’ll bet against it.
Open relationships are poor excuses for people who aren’t mature enough to make a serious commitment. Why even waste the energy to be in an “open relationship” when you will most likely act the same if your were single? I understand it’s nice to have someone who you can talk to everyday, hang out with often and satisfy each others physical desires; however, there comes a point when one of the parties involved will start developing emotions much stronger than the “open relationship” contract allows. It’s a ticking time bomb that is waiting to explode. I am all for people using their 20’s as a time to focus on discovery and growth, so if that is truly what you are focused on, let’s not waste anyone’s time with a pseudo-relationship.
If you want a relationship – embrace all the aspects of one. If you aren’t ready to embrace that role, that’s okay. Enjoy the precious moments of the single life – discover yourself, go on dates, meet new people, act a fool and tell everyone on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram or any other social media platform that’s on your iPhone!
Sincerely,
Mr. J
A: Dear Open for business,
That’s a tough call. As a female I would argue it depends on whose idea it is. If it is the male’s call and the female’s intention is to go along with it until he is ready to commit I don’t think it will ever turn into anything of substance. If it is the female’s call and the reason is for discovery and growth (with the intention of eventually making it work) I think it is easier for a male to go along with that without getting to emotionally invested before the right time. It’s just a fact of life, men and women have different emotional makeup, be it nature or nurture we are different and what we can handle and how long we can handle it depends heavily on that fact. If you are both on the same page then more power to you! I think it is manageable, but I also think in the end someone always end up getting hurt. Let me put it this way, either one of you has ever said “You can do whatever you want outside of what we have, I just don’t want to hear about it” it is not going to end well.
Love,
Miss J
© LoveJays 2012