Q: Dear Love Jays,
I started dating this girl and I really like her. I still have other options available, and I’m not sure if I should burn my bridges. At what point do I stop dating other women casually?
A: Dear When to Burn the Bridges:
Welcome the crossroad every man faces at least once in their lifetime!
If you really like the young lady and can picture yourself in a committed relationship with her in the near future, I recommend leaving the other fishes in the sea alone ASAP. Men constantly feel the need the continue searching for something that “could be” better even if we have something really good right in front of us! We want so bad for our egos (yes, men have multiple egos – don’t try to deny it) to be stroked and to have the option of someone on the back burner just-in-case things don’t turn out as planned. Thinking this way immediately sets you up for failure. Why set something up for failure before it even starts?
You said it yourself – “I really like her.” Emphasis on the singular. Her. Not them.
It’s like going to a restaurant. You open the menu and see several options you want to order, but in the end, you choose the one you really want. You have made the decision on who you really like and now it’s time to try it. Good news -if you don’t like what you ordered, you can always send it back and order something new.
Sincerely,
Mr. J
A: Dear Burn Baby Burn,
There will always be other females. If the feeling are mutual between you and your prospective mate than let the bridges burn. If you aren’t sure where you guys really stand, talk about it. Have the “are we exclusive” talk. If you really like her that means you are becoming a little more invested and the more it would hurt if you lost her. You don’t want to loose something you really want over something you could have if you wanted it.
Love,
Miss J
© LoveJays 2012