Year of the Woman

Google Images

A few weeks ago, my pastor preached a lecture series called the “Year of the Woman”. He spoke about the important role women play in our society, the power all women possess inside of them, acknowledged the driving power to keep women “in their place”, yet what struck me the most weren’t any of the sentiments expressed above. He looked every man in the eye and challenged us to recognize the crucial role we play in assisting women to earn their respective place in society. He called us to be Joseph’s (husband of Mary, mother of Jesus) of the world – men who make a full effort to manifest the dreams and destiny of a woman.

I write this blog with the hope of inspiring young men and women to examine their behaviors and understand the importance women play in our lives. In today’s society, it’s almost impossible to turn on a popular radio station or movie without hearing a negative comment about women. B-this. H-that. And what makes it even worse, our culture has grown completely immune to such name calling and has WOMEN using the words as terms of endearment for each other!

Sit on that.

We must understand progress towards a better world starts with the elevating of a woman. Men have been running this country forever, but of those men running it, how many of them had a strong woman supporting them along the way? Despite your views or political affiliation, do you honestly believe Barack Obama is the same man without Michelle? Martin without Corretta? FDR without Eleanor? She (Michelle) is the anchor to his success and he understands her value. Sure, men can argue until they are blue in the face about “I put in the long days”, “I worked for this” or as Drake so eloquently stated, “B****, you wasn’t with me shootin’ in the gym!” It’s a fair argument, but only a fool believes a man is at his best without a good woman behind them.

What if the roles were reversed and it was a man’s job to support their wife in any endeavor she wanted to peruse? As a man, would you be willing to humble yourself? If you are unable to say ‘yes’ to some part of this question, I challenge you to reexamine your ideals. Women were not placed here to cater to a man’s dream; God placed a dream inside of every woman’s heart, so how dare we (men) limit women in attaining their goals and dreams. It’s time to embrace the woman. Empower the woman. Respect the woman. LOVE the woman! We have come a long way as a generation, but we still have a long way to go. Let’s be mindful of the words we use when referencing to a women; let’s be mindful the way we treat women. Above all, let’s set free our negativity and replace it with positivity.

I would be lying to you by not admitting my guilt in every aspect I speak about. I have helped in contributing to the demeaning of women. I’m not proud of my guilt, but I recognize it. Fortunately, we all have the ability to change. I have made a commitment to manifest the dreams of the women around me and to respect women through my words and actions. Because I am human, I will slip-up. I ask for forgiveness ahead of time and ask all of you to join me in my journey.

For the men reading this post: Help facilitate change. Swim upstream. Honor the woman.

For the woman reading this post: You are beautiful. You are strong. You are intelligent. You have a dream inside of you that the Earth is in need of receiving. Spread your wings and begin to fly. The world is at your feet!

Sincerely,

Mr. J

Have a question for the Love Jays? Submit it by email here or anonymously using our comment box!

[contact-form][contact-field label=’Submit Questions Anonymously Below:’ type=’textarea’/][/contact-form]

© LoveJays 2012

Hey, That wasn’t in the Plan!

Q: Dear Love Jays,

My boyfriend and I often discuss/plan our future together (where we want to live, how we’d like to raise our kids, etc). We are on the same page on a number of key issues on raising kids, but I stress over any differences of opinion even though we are talking years away. I’m a planner.  How much is too much detail to get in to about the future? At what point is it better to just let life unfold and see how we deal with things as they come up?

A: Dear Focused on the Future:

I truly have never understood how/why women are so focused on the future. Honestly. I have tried to figure this mystery out for years and every time I am left with a slight headache. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy planning for the future, but planning YEARS in advance? Really?

Let’s do a fun activity (grab a pen and paper): Think back to a year ago (July 2011) and recollect all the plans you made and visions you had about where you were going to be by July 2012. Grab your piece of paper and draw a line down the middle of the page. On the left side of the page, write down all the things you planned on having accomplished by today (this includes your job, living situation, friends, personal goals, etc.). On the right side of the page write down all the things (same as above) that have taken place in the past year. Be sure to include all unplanned occurrences and indicate which things are still the same from 2011 to 2012.

Finished? Let’s review.

Does the right side of the page look anything like the left? How many events occurred between July 2011 to July 2012 that were planned? Unplanned? Did you honestly envision yourself at this exact place a year ago?

The main purpose of this exercise was to demonstrate how little control we have of planning our future – even if it’s only a year away! Stressing out over little details specifically related to the future doesn’t serve much benefit. Change is going to happen – it’s inevitable. What may be a major detail today may not be tomorrow. Discuss the important issues and move from there. If the two of you can see eye-to-eye on the big ticket issues, I’m sure the other “little details” will work themselves out.

Just remember, there is a fine line between planning for the future and preparing for it!

Sincerely,

Mr. J

A: Dear The Plan is Law, 

As women we love to plan things, it is in our nature. It is sometimes difficult to live in the present because we want to make sure we are prepared for later, especially when it comes to planning your life with a significant other.

Learn how to turn it off, NOW! It is nothing but a pain in the butt. Realistically you can only plan for so much because the future is so uncertain. Yes, you should plan vacations and all things that require booking, but other than that let it go. Let’s say you don’t have any children and you don’t “plan” on having any for at least 5 years. You shouldn’t stress over things like him hating soccer, but you really want your kids to play soccer because it’s your favorite sport. It is completely irrelevant to your life at this point. Cross that bridge when you get to it.

On the flip side, if the differences are in character than that may be something you want to tackle now.

What is important is that you are both communicating about what you want the future to hold and it looks similar. Look at it as a goal, but not an end all be all. For now just enjoy each other and live in the present 🙂  Good Luck!

Love,

Miss J

© LoveJays 2012