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Couples Counseling

Q: Dear Love Jays,

Do you guys think it’s a smart idea to go to some form of couples counseling prior to committing to marriage?

A: Dear Pre-Marriage Counseling,

Marriage is a very exciting and serious commitment for any relationship and should not be taken lightly. While we pride ourselves on knowing almost everything about our partner, we may not be aware of some thoughts, feeling or behaviors that may cause conflict down the road. When we decide to marry someone, we plan on staying with them until “death does you part” (though in America, I’m not too sure those words hold any value), so it would probably be beneficial to attend couples training or counseling prior to marriage.

I haven’t had any personal experiences with these training classes or sessions, but my married and soon to be married friends who have participated in such training have thoroughly enjoyed it. In all honesty, what’s the worst that can happen? You have made the decision to wed this individual, so there shouldn’t be too many surprises…I hope.

If you go in hopes of determining if your significant other is Mr. or Mrs. right, then you have misunderstood some key elements along the way. I’m sure there are many couples who did not seek counseling or training prior to marriage and are living great lives. If you decide to attend, great. If not, great, too!

Sincerely,

Mr. J

A: Dear Seeking Counsel,

Marriage is a huge commitment and the biggest leap a couple can make. It is literally called “The Plunge”. Like any other large decision it is always best to do anything you can to ensure you are looking at all aspects of the decision you are making.

Someone who specializes in marriage counseling knows exactly what questions you should be asking each other and what you can truly expect out of marriage. This is not to say they know exactly how your marriage is going to pan out, that part is up to you, but they can give you tips on how to manage things within the new territory of marriage.

Some may argue that they do not need a third-party butting into their relationship. To those people I would say to try not to think of them as “another person”, but to instead think about them as a helping hand. At the end of the day the goal is to equip the couple with useful tools that lead to success, not to test the relationship.

I think marriage counseling is an excellent idea. Good Luck!

Love,

Miss J 

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© LoveJays 2012

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Wedding vs. Marriage

 

Happy Wednesday Love Fans! 

This morning I ran across and article that got me thinking…The majority of women out there (myself included) have been dreaming of their wedding day since they were 10 years old. They have it all planned out down to the last detail. The dress, the guest, the flowers, and the cake; all of it! Would you be willing to trade your dream dress for a sheet, your guest for nurses, and your cake for brownies from a hospital cafeteria? Check out the story below and share your thoughts! 

Bride Weds in Bedsheet

(Source: Yahoo!)

Last week, an Ohio hospital transformed into a full-service wedding hall for a pregnant patient’s special day. Nurses became wedding planners, patients provided bridal accessories, and the gift shop catered the whole affair. Just hours later, the bride became a patient again when the staff delivered her baby.

It wasn’t every bride’s fantasy venue, but for Cynthia Reese it was perfect.

“Everything went so well with the wedding, that the baby wanted to come see it too,” joked the exhausted new mom during a phone interview with Yahoo! Shine.

Reese, 27, was seven months pregnant last Monday when her water broke.

“I was mopping up the floor at work when it happened,” says the Aeropostale sales assistant. “It was really terrifying.”

She immediately checked in to Akron General Medical Center for fetal monitoring as doctors tried to slow down her contractions. She was put on bed rest and checked into the hospital for the duration of her pregnancy. The biggest concern for Reese and her fiancé, Michael Bof, was having a healthy baby. But the early delivery also meant they wouldn’t be married as they’d hoped when the baby arrived. 

 “We couldn’t afford anything so we were just going to go to the court before the baby came, and make it official,” says Reese, who discovered she was pregnant three weeks after getting engaged. “I just wanted to be married.”

The bride wore a white sheets.

Since Reese couldn’t make it to court, Bof brought the judge to his bride, and coordinated with the hospital to hold a brief ceremony in the on-site chapel. It was supposed to be a low-key thing, until staff at the hospital stepped it up a notch.

“All the nurses on floor that helped me with the wedding,” says Reese. “As soon as my one nurse, Melody, found out I was going to wear my hospital gown to the ceremony, she was like ‘Oh no girl.'”

“I thought about doing something long with a train, but the sheet was too thin,” senior nurse tech Melody White told the Akron Beacon Journal. Using safety pins she fashioned a white sheet into a toga and wrapped a blue vitals monitor belt around her waist for a sash. Another patient on the floor offered up some baby’s breath, from her own flower arrangement, for the bride’s hairpiece. 

Meanwhile, the dietary department kicked in some brownies as a cake. The gift shop donated chips and dip, and provided decorations for the reception in Reese’s room. One of the nurses found a bridal cake-topper in the gift shop. Someone in the medical photography department was called into be the wedding photographer. A visitor even played the Wedding March on the lobby piano as the bride was wheeled into the chapel.

Nurse Melody White shows Cynthia the gift shop figurine she found for the wedding.

“I can’t believe I didn’t have to pay for a wedding,” says the astonished bride.

The next day, it was back business when the new bride became a new mom. Michael Frederick Bof II was born on Thursday, weighing in at 4 pounds, 12 ounces. “He came out crying, which we didn’t expect—it was a miracle,” says Reese. 

Because of his early arrival, little Michael is staying on at Akron General for the next two to three weeks. The newlyweds are spending most of their time in the hospital with their newborn. Unfortunately, Akron General doesn’t do honeymoon packages. “We’d like to take a real honeymoon down the road, but we’ve got a little guy now,” says Reese. “You know how life is.”

For now, her only post-wedding plan involves finding a place in her closet for her bed sheet bridal gown. “I’m totally going to keep it,” she says. “It’s the cheapest wedding dress ever made.”

The Bedsheet Bride 🙂

So there you have it! You may not have your dream wedding or even the wedding you planned, but it does not mean your moment is any less special. The fairy tale lies within finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with, not in how magical your wedding is. 

Love, 

Miss J 

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