In this weeks episode we discuss Miss J’s eating habits, Kobe Bryant’s injury, friendships with the opposite sex while in a relationship and a really interesting sex fact. Special guests, spoken word artists SuperB and MK Ultra.
Love,
J&J
Have a Question for the Love Jays?
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© LoveJays 2013
Q: Dear Love Jays,
My boyfriend recently moved in, along with all of his sports memorabilia. Our place is small! I really don’t see where a lot of it could fit without everything looking cluttered. I really want him to feel at home. How do you guys suggest I make him feel like his stuff matters while not completely letting his stuff take over?
A: Dear Happy Medium,
“My boyfriend recently moved in…”Let’s stop there. He moved into YOUR place, brought his belongings and you don’t know what to do? Ha! Pick up the phone and dial 1-800-STORAGE!
It’s your home! You picked it out, you decorated it and you have lived there for X amount of time prior to your boyfriend moving in. If he has any sense, he should understand not every piece of his sports memorabilia can be hung throughout YOUR (now our) house. Make it easy – clear up some wall space in the house and allow him to pick his favorite pieces to hang up in the house. What doesn’t fit goes into storage!
Be sure to indicate that you have removed some of your pieces from the wall, so he is completely aware that both of you are making a sacrifice. If he gives you a hard time, pull the “this is my place” card and I’m sure that will shut him up. Happy home decorating!
Sincerely,
Mr. J
A: Dear Hot Mess,
Yes you need him to feel at home, but you need to feel at home too. You said your place is small, which means you could potentially end up with a man cave-esk functshway.
My question to you is how attached to all of the sports memorabilia is he? And how attached are you to what you have? Maybe you guys can both purge your individual items and have a garage sale. Afterwards go get some mutual decor that you both like with the money you make. When you move in together you begin a new chapter, why not start the new chapter with new things.
If you both are not willing to get rid of things my advice would be to pick a room or space designated for his sports memorabilia, have an area designated for your artwork or whatever you want to hang and then have a space where you pick things out together. You essentially need to have themed rooms. Box the things up that do not fit and save them for when you have a bigger space. Good luck!
Love,
Miss J
© LoveJays 2012
Happy August Family!
Can you believe we are already starting the 8th month of 2012? I still remember bringing in the New Year with the lovely Miss J, my brother and a few of his friends down in Pasadena, CA like it was yesterday! Not to mention the atrocious beard I was rockin’ – I’m sure it would have made James Harden cringe. Yes, it was that bad. Guess that is what happens when you take “No Shave November” too far. Don’t’ worry, I have learned my lesson.
Last week, the Love Jays received a question that only warranted a man’s opinion. Here is the question:
“Patience. I have to setup the question(s). Most women, some will deny this, will meet a guy and in their minds immediately jump to the future or to some label (i.e. boyfriend, husband, baby daddy). “The future” can be multiple scenarios. But women decide if this person is worth their time. Imaginary long-term possibilities are explored within minutes of the initial encounter. Do men do the same? If not, at what point do men label or explore/decide on the future potential of women? What makes THAT woman stand out in the millions you meet.”
Side bar: For all the women reading this post who play out similar scenarios, bless your little heart. I send my sincerest regards to your emotions and brain for having to deal with such calculations.
Let’s sum this answer up quickly – absolutely not. Upon meeting a woman, the first and typically only thing men are thinking about is satisfying the physical desire that is burning in both of our heads. Pun intended. Moving on. I wish I could sit here and defend the stereotypes hurled against men for caring too much about the physical, but the harsh reality is that most men aren’t thinking anything about “the next steps” until many days, weeks or even months down the line.
Men are physical creatures. We are naturally aroused when we see an attractive women. It’s in our genetics. We don’t control it. As a result, the animalistic nature inside of us takes over and we quickly decipher if we should attempt to swing for the fences or stay in the dugout and cheer from a distance. Now of course, not all men think or act this way. There are some gentleman left in this world who suppress their natural urges and rationally sift through their mental checklist to decide if you are “future material” relatively quickly.
Some advice going forward – embrace the mindset that all men are only concerned about satisfying themselves. Call our bluff. Force us to play a different hand. We love to be challenged and love when a woman offers something different. A confident, strong and intelligent woman will have a man running in circles trying to make you his future!
You want a man to think about the future quicker? Change the game! The ball is in your court. We are the greatest puppets in the world!
What has been your experience LoveJays fam? How do you get men to think about the future quicker? Fellas, agree or disagree? Let’s discuss it!
Peace and Blessings,
Mr. J
© LoveJays 2012
