Q: Dear Love Jays,
What do you do when you start falling for the guy you turned down a couple years ago? Is it too late?
A: Dear On Second Thought…,
Just for fun, I can only imagine the conversation in your head went a little something like this…
“Wait, am I starting to like this guy?”
“A few years ago, I had no interest in him!”
“This can’t be happening.”
“I wonder if he even remembers me turning him down?”
“Should I say something?”
“I can’t believe it…I think I really do like this guy. This will be interesting.”
Even if I’m completely off-base, let’s be honest – you enjoyed reading it just as much I as enjoyed playing it out in my own head. Wait, maybe I shouldn’t have admitted that…don’t judge me!
It’s almost never too late for a woman to seek after a man, even if she turned him down a few years ago. Grant it, if he is engaged to be married or already married, chances are cloud-level high it’s a little too late. But, I’m going to assume that is not the case since you submitted this question.
As years pass, we are constantly changing for the better and in some cases, for the worst. A few years ago, you were not interested in this young man for some reason(s), but he has obviously matured (personally, physically, mentally and emotionally) in a way that has made you attracted to him. There is no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed of your change of heart because a solid amount of time has passed. The good news for you – he was attracted to you at some point, so I’m sure there is still some reserved feelings left in him somewhere. The biggest step in progressing forward was acknowledging your feelings for this man, so all this is left is to swallow your pride and progress forward in those feelings.
Understand, the shoe is now on the other foot and he is in the driver’s seat! As the say, “Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.” Make it happen!
Sincerely,
Mr. J
A: Dear From Rejection to Affection,
It is never too late for love. Period. I know that is an extremely dramatic statement, but it is true! Plus, it does not hurt he is a man and this is the moment he has been waiting for. I would say most men, not all, secretly wait for the day when the woman they were once rejected by realizes how great of a guy he really is. Congratulations, you have now become his dream come true!
All that aside, make sure you are really into the guy. Nothing hurts worse than being rejected not once, but twice. Double check to see if the reasons you rejected him the first time are not still prevalent today. You want to KNOW what you are feeling is real and not a result of time passed and dwindling attention. Sometimes when someone who admires us pulls away we mistake missing the attention for missing the actual person who was giving it to us.
If that is not the case, then more power to you! Be willing to be vulnerable, and prepare to be patient. He may go into it with caution because he has been rejected by you before or he may jump right in because he has been waiting for you for so long. In any case best of luck!
Love,
Miss J
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