Love Archives - Page 12 of 24 - Love Jays

February 21, 2013April 7, 2016

He’s My Co-Worker and He Might Have a Girlfriend…

Q: Dear Love Jays,

We all know the old adage:”Don’t shit where you eat.” But things are changing, right? Dating co-workers is… kind of okay, right? There’s this guy that I’ve recently started talking to and we’ve been working together on a couple of projects lately. On these projects, he’s a little bit more of my superior. Is that okay to date him? Also, he might possibly have a girlfriend. What is there to lose but at the same time, how invested do I really get?

A: Dear Co-Worker with a Girlfriend…Maybe,

I am going to keep this short and sweet. You said, “he might possibly have a girlfriend”. Stop there. Does he have a girlfriend, yes or no? That is a very important piece of information. If he does, you have everything to lose. I am going to tell you what a wise woman once told me. How you get a man is how you lose a man. You are more than welcome to be his friend, but have respect for his relationship. If you feel you are unable to do so, cease-fire.

Moving on, In my current workplace several of my co-workers are married and they met while working here. A workplace relationship can definitely work. With that said, if you are just looking for a fling/good time I would caution against it.

Hope this helps!

Love,

Miss J

A:Dear Dating in the Workplace,

Dating one of your co-workers is commonly frowned upon and often discouraged. Our place of employment is somewhere we go to make a decent living, improve upon our skill sets, and possibly make some new friends.

I’m sure we have all been told at one point or another to keep our work life and personal life separate; however, I find it a bit unrealistic to ask people to avoid letting the 40-50+ hours we spend with other people not to have some cross influence. I definitely agree there’s a definitive line of what we should/shouldn’t discuss with our co-workers nor fall victim into believing everyone we work with is a friend, but let’s acknowledge the simple fact that our work life and personal life aren’t 100% independent from one another.

Onto my opinion.

I’m definitely open to the idea of dating in the workplace, but if the person we are interested in dating has a direct influence on our day-to-day job and responsibilities, I would caution against it. Regardless of how “cool” our supervisors act or how laxed the work environment is designed, our place of employment is a business and we should exercise good sense when making certain decisions. How does the old saying go? “It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.” It’s very possible the two of you could end up dating without it negatively effecting your work situation, but you would be doing yourself a disservice by not assessing the consequences on both sides.

Oh, and to answer your question on what is there to lose…your job, maybe? Just a thought. It’s extreme and unlikely, I understand. Still, it’s something to think about! One more thing…let’s not forget to acknowledge the possibility that he may have a girlfriend.

Sincerely,

Mr. J

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February 20, 2013April 7, 2016

Support During a Transition

August 18, 2011.

I was scanning my closet with the biggest smile on my face.

“What color should I wear?”

“I’ll were this one…never mind. I’ll keep it simple and wear this shirt.”

“Which tie looks best?

After 5-10 minutes of back-and-forth debate with my mother, I had finally picked out the outfit I would wear on my first day to work.

August 19, 2011.

It was a Friday, weather was great; I was scheduled to work a half-day. My nerves were all over the place, yet I was excited to embark on this new journey of adulthood and success. A few weeks had passed and I was slowly gaining a better understanding of my job responsibilities, rules to follow, and all that other “9-5” business stuff.

December 3, 2011.

I passed my 90-day review with flying colors and saved enough money to move out of my parent’s house into my very first place! Just seven months removed from college, I was working as an Admissions Counselor at a top-tier, highly selective university and was living on my own. I was officially a “grown up”.

My friends and family were proud of my accomplishments and I was able to do just about anything I wanted, within reason. If I wanted to spend $100 on a date, I didn’t think twice about it. Christmas? I couldn’t wait to spoil my family!

April 3, 2012.

I received an email from a college friend who was looking to see if I would be interested in starting a business with him. I wasn’t much of a business guy (didn’t take one business course in college), yet I wanted to hear more about the opportunity. For the next couple months, we scheduled a few meetings and exchanged several emails and phone calls.

As more and more time passed, I was starting to consider leaving my job and pursing this full-time. I was met with some backlash from friends and family when I ran this idea by them, but I brushed it off and came to a decision I felt was best.

June 24, 2012.

I walked into my supervisor’s office and handed her my notice. Easily one of the hardest decisions I have made. It caught her by surprise and she was visibly disappointed and bummed. We spoke for a few minutes and I headed back to my desk.

Relieved? Eager? Excited? Scared? Probably a mixture of all these plus a few more. I spent the next couple of weeks tying up any loose ends and packed up my apartment.

July 13, 2012.

My last day. It finally hit me. Was I really walking away from a full-time job and my own place to start a business? It’s easier to take risks when you’re young, so I hid my nerves and celebrated with my colleagues before leaving the suite one last time.

Another chapter in life was about to close. Two more chapters were set to begin.

What is the second chapter I speak of? Scroll through to the beginning of the blog and you will discover this was the day Love Jays was born.

July 14, 2012.

I was completely moved out of my apartment and now residing in a large home with 7 other people. Two were my business partners, one was a friend of my business partner, and the other four were entrepreneurs eager to get their businesses off the ground.

What did I just get myself into? Turning back was no longer an option. I was determined to prove everyone who doubted me wrong.

October 12, 2012.

Our mobile application launches in the Apple App Store and we are thrilled. Four months of hard work had finally paid dividend.

It was a breath of fresh air.

We weren’t experiencing too many victories in that four-month span, so it was nice to finally get one under our belt.

November 2, 2012.

A knock at the door. I answer.

“Are you serious? Okay, let me get my business partner.”

We had just been informed the house we were occupying foreclosed and the people at the door were with the new buyers.

Millions of thoughts rushed through my mind. I began to question if I made the right decision. I was warned, but I didn’t listen. Is this what startup life is like? What’s going to happen next? Where are we going to live?

We continued forward and tried to ignore the distractions.

February 8, 2013.

Move out day.

Am I really moving again? Where will I go next? Did I make the wrong decision?

February 15, 2013.

My business partner schedules a meeting to discuss the future of our company.

As I’m driving to the location, I fear the worst.

We meet for an hour and my fears are confirmed. We are completely out of money and it’s time to start pursuing a different path.

Speechless. Confused. Disappointed. Failure.

February 20, 2013.

The last seven months have been quite eventful. I’ve experienced a few highs, quite a few lows; met some great friends and learned more about myself.

Some may argue I failed; I would argue that learning valuable life lessons are in direct opposition of failure.

I’m not quite sure what I’ll do next, but there is one thing I am certain about…

Miss J’s love and support.

It’s a blessing to have someone who is there to celebrate your highs and provide comfort when you’re feeling low. Miss J could have easily discouraged me from leaving my job as an Admissions Counselor to pursue the very unstable entrepreneurial lifestyle, yet she stood firm in my corner and encouraged my leap of faith. When it didn’t turn out the way we expected and everything around me seemed to be crumbling down, my relationship with Miss J continued to grow stronger.

Offering support to a friend or loved one during a time of transition isn’t always easy; it requires a selfless spirit and an abundance of love. But as someone who is experiencing such a transition, I can assure you it’s an act appreciated beyond words.

We have all been assigned a different mission in life. Some have been called to lead great businesses or practice medicine; others have been called to teach, to write, to dance, to sing or to serve. Though are journeys in life may look wildly different, we are united in our call to love and support each other.

Thank you to everyone for your continued love and support.

Love,

Mr. J

February 19, 2013April 7, 2016

The Attitude Problem

Q: Dear Love Jays,

Looking for advice on how to deal with the attitude/stubbornness aspect of a relationship.

A: Dear Attitude Adjustment,

Attitude is a learned behavior whereas stubbornness is typically a personality trait. They can both be worked on, but the person exhibiting the behavior has to be aware and motivated to change.

Let’s start with the attitude problem. More often than not, it does not take long for a nasty attitude to rear its ugly head. Those who possess this quality are usually quick to use it. Big issue or small issue, you will usually get a neck roll or two. The first step is to bring awareness to the issue in a non-accusatory tone. Try saying something like, “When you speak to me like _____ , it makes it hard for me to receive what you are saying because ______”. Calmly let them respond, and prepare for just a little more attitude. If your partner is reasonable (hopefully) they will digest what you said and apply it next time. The second step is to repeat. This can be a process and you will probably have to talk about it more than once, just remember to stay calm and always come from a loving (not frustrated) place every time you speak about it.

Stubbornness can be a little more difficult to deal with. Sometimes it can be good to be stubborn and sometimes it can be really bad. Because the reward is different each time, it makes it difficult for the person with this personality trait to know when it’s appropriate and when to leave it at home. No one should ever just roll over and do what someone else says to do within a relationship or otherwise. However, it is important to compromise. If your mate is stubborn but you guys are always able to come to an agreement, then I would say you are fine. If the stubbornness gets in the way of you ever finding middle ground then you may be dealing with a “my way or the highway” type. If this is the case, your best bet is to (again) speak to them calmly while they are exhibiting such behavior. Do not make it sound like a “bad” thing or a “flaw”. Just let them know you appreciate he/she is strong willed, but you really need to come to an agreement and it would be great if he/she could meet you half way. Leave them with their thoughts and let them approach you later when they are ready.

Hope this helps!

Love,

Miss J

Dear Managing Attitude,

Growing up, I was the kid who always copped an attitude; if things weren’t going my way, I made it a point to let everyone know I wasn’t happy. As a result, I was forever getting in trouble at school or finding myself on the tail end of a good whooping from my father. Years and years passed, yet I still didn’t have a solid grip on how to control my attitude. Let’s be clear, I wasn’t bad, destructive or abusive (I know some of you were judging); I just had a difficult time keeping my mouth shut!

Fortunately, Miss J came along and help put my attitude right in its place. She effectively communicated how I would hurt her feelings by saying or doing certain things and simply would not tolerate my childish behavior. She wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary, but seeing someone you truly care for upset over your actions isn’t the most rewarding feeling. It’s also important to note that true change is only possible when a person is committed to making a change.

If your partner’s attitude or behavior is causing a rift in your relationship, it’s absolutely critical to communicate your feelings. They may know it’s a problem, yet if they aren’t fully aware of the consequences, chances are very likely business will continue per usual. Relationship maintenance isn’t always fun, but it is indeed necessary.

Sincerely,

Mr. J

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February 14, 2013April 7, 2016

Love Jays on T Radio V

This past Monday, we had the privilege of guest starring on Forkin’ Amazing’s Valentine’s Day edition internet radio show. Click the picture above or follow this link to view the episode.

We talk a bit in the beginning, but the real interview starts at 10:27. Feel free to fast forward through the commercials.

Share your thoughts with us!

Love,

J&J

P.S. If you are a LA FOODIE, be sure to check out Forkin’ Amazing every Monday at 5:00 p.m. at TradioV.com/LA.

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February 14, 2013April 7, 2016

Happy Valentine’s Day!

It’s important to realize this holiday is not about the gifts you receive nor the meals you may consume, it’s all about love! Go out of your way this year to show your love for your partner, your friends or a complete stranger. February 14 may be the only day on the calendar dedicated to love; however, it’s our responsibility to spread love each day of the year.

Committed or single – put a smile on your face and share friendly hugs to whomever you see fit!

Love,

J&J

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ7uXX9K7Sk]

P.S. Happy Birthday Mom! – Mr. J

February 12, 2013April 7, 2016

Video: Just Keepin’ It Real

It’s Video Time!

Miss J is feeling under the weather today (wish her well), so in lieu of our typical Tuesday posts, we wanted to share with you a video we made a few days ago addressing our differences in cleanliness!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJXimmFRDk0]

If you have not subscribed to our YouTube channel, be sure to follow the link. We will be releasing more videos in an attempt to connect further with all of our readers!

Enjoy the rest of your Tuesday!

Love,

J&J

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