Q: Dear Love Jays,
I’m newly single after a fairly serious relationship. Some people say to take time before dating again and some say to get back on the horse! What do you guys think?
A: Dear New to the Single Life,
I’m going to keep this short – Take.Time.For.Yourself!
It’s imperative for people who just ended relationships to have some good ole’ quality “Me-time”. Time can be a couple weeks, a few months or even a year or two, but whatever is the appropriate amount of time for you, don’t waste it! Use the time to get yourself together, go on some dates, reflect on your past relationship and ask a few questions.
How did this relationship affect the person I am today?
Could I have done more to make the relationship stronger?
What characteristics do I want in my next relationship?
What did I like and dislike about my relationship?
What am I willing to sacrifice next time?
Am I ready for another relationship?
If you aren’t asking these questions and truly working towards improving upon the person you were in the previous relationship, you are doing yourself and your future partner an extreme disservice. When has rushing anything typically led to better results?
Sincerely,
Mr. J
A: Dear Single and Not Sure if you Want to Mingle,
It is probably in your best interest, and in the best interest of the next person you date seriously to take some time for yourself.
A failed long-term relationship takes a lot out of you and typically right after a break up you experience a very serious emotional roller coaster. Nobody needs to be along for the ride but you. Your family and friends should be there for support of course, but you never want to try to fill the void an ex left by filling it with a new person. Instead fill it with love for yourself and make it so that there is no more void to fill, there is just room for a person for you to love in a new space.
Dating is an excellent idea, but only when you are really ready. You never know who you are going to end up falling in love with. Better to be mended and ready, than broken and unavailable for something really great. Take your time. Good luck!
Love,
Miss J
© LoveJays 2012