Posted on

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving

The holidays are the best time of the year. We spend quality time with family and friends (some who we haven’t seen in years), indulge in over consumption of home-cooked meals, drink endless bottles of wine and champagne, play fun games and find out interesting facts about the people you have known your whole life, laugh the night away, snuggle in front of the fire, listen to holiday music, watch your favorite movies, but most importantly, we get the opportunity to simply enjoy life and be grateful for the friends and family in our lives.

Far too often, we get caught in our day-to-day and take for granted the opportunities we have been afforded, the places we have visited and the people nearest to our heart. It’s not often we get a chance to unplug from the world and focus our attention to what really matters in life. So for this holiday season, I challenge all of you to spend time with your love ones, reach out to old friends, say I love you, cry a little bit, smile. Extend your thank yous beyond those who have prepared the Thanksgiving feast and spend quality time reflecting on all your blessings and truly give thanks.

I want to take this opportunity to give a sincere thank you to everyone who has supported the Love Jays and has played a part in its success. I could have never imagined how rewarding it has been helping friends and strangers navigate through life. I am deeply humbled by all of you and can’t express my appreciation enough. Miss J, I love you more words can describe and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you. To all my friends and family, thank you for supporting me in all my endeavors and I look forward to celebrating many more victories with you.

Happy Holidays!

With gratitude,

Mr. J

Have a question for the Love Jays?

[contact-form][contact-field label=’Submit Questions Anonymously Below: ‘ type=’textarea’/][/contact-form]

© LoveJays 2012

Posted on

Friend Zone?

Q: Hi Love Jays,

I’m starting to realize I have feelings for one of my guy friends, but it’s a strange situation. I feel like we genuinely care for each other, but I can’t tell in what way. At first, I was a little afraid that I was in the “little sister” zone, but as we got closer and closer, it all changed. For example, he knows I have a lot of anxiety with getting blood drawn, and gladly came with me to get it done. The thing is, he’s a bit (and by a bit, I mean a lot) of a player and at parties goes after girls he thinks will sleep with him and knows that I’m not up for anything casual. One night, after drinking, he and I kissed several times that night, so I have no idea whether that was a drunk want or just “because”. He also likes to call me pet names, but I don’t know if that’s in a little sister way. While I know he’s not ready for a relationship, have I been friend/little sister zoned?

A: Dear Stuck in the Friend Zone,

There aren’t too many single men in this world who will completely write-off any woman as being a future girlfriend. She could be a complete stranger or a friend for many years, whichever the case, it doesn’t mean things will always stay the same. How many stories have you read about best friends falling for each other? Just like anything else in life, friendships can evolve into something much different.

I have never been one to “blame it on the a a a a a alcohol” when making questionable decisions. You mentioned he is a bit of a player and likes going after girls who will sleep with him, so it’s very clear he knew exactly what he was doing when deciding to kiss you. It doesn’t necessarily mean he is trying to sleep with you, but I can assure you he wouldn’t prevent it from happening if you decided to take it there.

Simple answer – you are not stuck in the friend/little sister zone. He is looking to have fun and is willing to participate with anyone who is up for a good time. If you aren’t for anything casual, I would suggest not hooking up with him; no need to cause yourself any more confusion.

Sincerely,

Mr. J

A: Dear In the Zone,

There is no such thing as a single man keeping a woman in “the friend zone”. NO SUCH THING. A man may value a friendship and not want to ruin it at that moment; but for the most part, until a man is settled down, every woman is fair game.

Also, he kissed you. I will say it again, He. Kissed. You. And you kissed him back. You liked it and I am sure there are no complaints on his end. Yes, you were drunk. Drunken words/actions are sober thoughts. When a friendship takes a step in the direction of it becoming something more there are typically a lot of nerves/butterflies involved. You both just had liquid courage, it is totally normal.

While I am almost positive you have not been “friend zoned”, you still may want to proceed with caution. You mentioned he is a player and my gut is saying he probably cares for you, but he has some “tendencies” he needs to get out first. The kisses you shared were probably the result of you both putting your feelers out there.Now that he knows he may have a shot with you he might slow down with his player ways.

For your part you should figure out what it is exactly you want and what you expect from him. If you come to the conclusion you are better off friends then that is that; but if you definitely want to explore something more than a normal friendship you are going to have to drop the liquid courage and the kisses and have a heart to heart.

Love,

Miss J 

Have a question for the Love Jays?

[contact-form][contact-field label=’Submit Questions Anonymously Below:’ type=’textarea’/][/contact-form]

© LoveJays 2012

Posted on

Worth Sharing :)

Google Images

Good morning love fans!

We thought this would be fun to share. It has been in circulation for years now, but it’s worth sharing just in case some of you have not seen it and even if you have, it’s good to refresh your memory :).

Below you will find 45 lessons a 90-year-old discovered throughout the course of their life and decided to share. What valuable lessons have you learned from your own experience  thus far? What could you contribute to this list? 

Love, 

J&J 

P.S. Old people have not always been old; they know a thing or two. If you are fortunate enough to know someone who has been around a while, we encourage you sit down and listen to what they have to say.

45 LIFE LESSONS, WRITTEN BY A 90 YEAR OLD

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for things that matter.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful.  Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose Life.

28. Forgive but don’t forget.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Have a question for the Love Jays?

[contact-form][contact-field label=’Submit Questions Anonymously Below: ‘ type=’textarea’/][/contact-form]

© LoveJays 2012