Posted on

Couples Counseling

Q: Dear Love Jays,

Do you guys think it’s a smart idea to go to some form of couples counseling prior to committing to marriage?

A: Dear Pre-Marriage Counseling,

Marriage is a very exciting and serious commitment for any relationship and should not be taken lightly. While we pride ourselves on knowing almost everything about our partner, we may not be aware of some thoughts, feeling or behaviors that may cause conflict down the road. When we decide to marry someone, we plan on staying with them until “death does you part” (though in America, I’m not too sure those words hold any value), so it would probably be beneficial to attend couples training or counseling prior to marriage.

I haven’t had any personal experiences with these training classes or sessions, but my married and soon to be married friends who have participated in such training have thoroughly enjoyed it. In all honesty, what’s the worst that can happen? You have made the decision to wed this individual, so there shouldn’t be too many surprises…I hope.

If you go in hopes of determining if your significant other is Mr. or Mrs. right, then you have misunderstood some key elements along the way. I’m sure there are many couples who did not seek counseling or training prior to marriage and are living great lives. If you decide to attend, great. If not, great, too!

Sincerely,

Mr. J

A: Dear Seeking Counsel,

Marriage is a huge commitment and the biggest leap a couple can make. It is literally called “The Plunge”. Like any other large decision it is always best to do anything you can to ensure you are looking at all aspects of the decision you are making.

Someone who specializes in marriage counseling knows exactly what questions you should be asking each other and what you can truly expect out of marriage. This is not to say they know exactly how your marriage is going to pan out, that part is up to you, but they can give you tips on how to manage things within the new territory of marriage.

Some may argue that they do not need a third-party butting into their relationship. To those people I would say to try not to think of them as “another person”, but to instead think about them as a helping hand. At the end of the day the goal is to equip the couple with useful tools that lead to success, not to test the relationship.

I think marriage counseling is an excellent idea. Good Luck!

Love,

Miss J 

[contact-form][contact-field label=’Submit Questions Anonymously Below:’ type=’textarea’/][/contact-form]

© LoveJays 2012

Posted on

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving

The holidays are the best time of the year. We spend quality time with family and friends (some who we haven’t seen in years), indulge in over consumption of home-cooked meals, drink endless bottles of wine and champagne, play fun games and find out interesting facts about the people you have known your whole life, laugh the night away, snuggle in front of the fire, listen to holiday music, watch your favorite movies, but most importantly, we get the opportunity to simply enjoy life and be grateful for the friends and family in our lives.

Far too often, we get caught in our day-to-day and take for granted the opportunities we have been afforded, the places we have visited and the people nearest to our heart. It’s not often we get a chance to unplug from the world and focus our attention to what really matters in life. So for this holiday season, I challenge all of you to spend time with your love ones, reach out to old friends, say I love you, cry a little bit, smile. Extend your thank yous beyond those who have prepared the Thanksgiving feast and spend quality time reflecting on all your blessings and truly give thanks.

I want to take this opportunity to give a sincere thank you to everyone who has supported the Love Jays and has played a part in its success. I could have never imagined how rewarding it has been helping friends and strangers navigate through life. I am deeply humbled by all of you and can’t express my appreciation enough. Miss J, I love you more words can describe and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you. To all my friends and family, thank you for supporting me in all my endeavors and I look forward to celebrating many more victories with you.

Happy Holidays!

With gratitude,

Mr. J

Have a question for the Love Jays?

[contact-form][contact-field label=’Submit Questions Anonymously Below: ‘ type=’textarea’/][/contact-form]

© LoveJays 2012

Posted on

Wedding vs. Marriage

 

Happy Wednesday Love Fans! 

This morning I ran across and article that got me thinking…The majority of women out there (myself included) have been dreaming of their wedding day since they were 10 years old. They have it all planned out down to the last detail. The dress, the guest, the flowers, and the cake; all of it! Would you be willing to trade your dream dress for a sheet, your guest for nurses, and your cake for brownies from a hospital cafeteria? Check out the story below and share your thoughts! 

Bride Weds in Bedsheet

(Source: Yahoo!)

Last week, an Ohio hospital transformed into a full-service wedding hall for a pregnant patient’s special day. Nurses became wedding planners, patients provided bridal accessories, and the gift shop catered the whole affair. Just hours later, the bride became a patient again when the staff delivered her baby.

It wasn’t every bride’s fantasy venue, but for Cynthia Reese it was perfect.

“Everything went so well with the wedding, that the baby wanted to come see it too,” joked the exhausted new mom during a phone interview with Yahoo! Shine.

Reese, 27, was seven months pregnant last Monday when her water broke.

“I was mopping up the floor at work when it happened,” says the Aeropostale sales assistant. “It was really terrifying.”

She immediately checked in to Akron General Medical Center for fetal monitoring as doctors tried to slow down her contractions. She was put on bed rest and checked into the hospital for the duration of her pregnancy. The biggest concern for Reese and her fiancé, Michael Bof, was having a healthy baby. But the early delivery also meant they wouldn’t be married as they’d hoped when the baby arrived. 

 “We couldn’t afford anything so we were just going to go to the court before the baby came, and make it official,” says Reese, who discovered she was pregnant three weeks after getting engaged. “I just wanted to be married.”

The bride wore a white sheets.

Since Reese couldn’t make it to court, Bof brought the judge to his bride, and coordinated with the hospital to hold a brief ceremony in the on-site chapel. It was supposed to be a low-key thing, until staff at the hospital stepped it up a notch.

“All the nurses on floor that helped me with the wedding,” says Reese. “As soon as my one nurse, Melody, found out I was going to wear my hospital gown to the ceremony, she was like ‘Oh no girl.'”

“I thought about doing something long with a train, but the sheet was too thin,” senior nurse tech Melody White told the Akron Beacon Journal. Using safety pins she fashioned a white sheet into a toga and wrapped a blue vitals monitor belt around her waist for a sash. Another patient on the floor offered up some baby’s breath, from her own flower arrangement, for the bride’s hairpiece. 

Meanwhile, the dietary department kicked in some brownies as a cake. The gift shop donated chips and dip, and provided decorations for the reception in Reese’s room. One of the nurses found a bridal cake-topper in the gift shop. Someone in the medical photography department was called into be the wedding photographer. A visitor even played the Wedding March on the lobby piano as the bride was wheeled into the chapel.

Nurse Melody White shows Cynthia the gift shop figurine she found for the wedding.

“I can’t believe I didn’t have to pay for a wedding,” says the astonished bride.

The next day, it was back business when the new bride became a new mom. Michael Frederick Bof II was born on Thursday, weighing in at 4 pounds, 12 ounces. “He came out crying, which we didn’t expect—it was a miracle,” says Reese. 

Because of his early arrival, little Michael is staying on at Akron General for the next two to three weeks. The newlyweds are spending most of their time in the hospital with their newborn. Unfortunately, Akron General doesn’t do honeymoon packages. “We’d like to take a real honeymoon down the road, but we’ve got a little guy now,” says Reese. “You know how life is.”

For now, her only post-wedding plan involves finding a place in her closet for her bed sheet bridal gown. “I’m totally going to keep it,” she says. “It’s the cheapest wedding dress ever made.”

The Bedsheet Bride 🙂

So there you have it! You may not have your dream wedding or even the wedding you planned, but it does not mean your moment is any less special. The fairy tale lies within finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with, not in how magical your wedding is. 

Love, 

Miss J 

Have a Question for the Love Jays?

[contact-form][contact-field label=’Submit Question Anonymously Below:’ type=’textarea’/][/contact-form]

Posted on

Worth Sharing :)

Google Images

Good morning love fans!

We thought this would be fun to share. It has been in circulation for years now, but it’s worth sharing just in case some of you have not seen it and even if you have, it’s good to refresh your memory :).

Below you will find 45 lessons a 90-year-old discovered throughout the course of their life and decided to share. What valuable lessons have you learned from your own experience  thus far? What could you contribute to this list? 

Love, 

J&J 

P.S. Old people have not always been old; they know a thing or two. If you are fortunate enough to know someone who has been around a while, we encourage you sit down and listen to what they have to say.

45 LIFE LESSONS, WRITTEN BY A 90 YEAR OLD

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for things that matter.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful.  Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose Life.

28. Forgive but don’t forget.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Have a question for the Love Jays?

[contact-form][contact-field label=’Submit Questions Anonymously Below: ‘ type=’textarea’/][/contact-form]

© LoveJays 2012