Why I Don’t Want Your Number

A few months ago, Miss J wrote an entry addressing the different ways men approach women in hopes of getting their number. Miss J couldn’t have been more spot on with her analysis and her post even inspired two of our readers to create their own blog! It has easily been the most popular entry on our site, so in honor of Miss J’s great work, I feel like it’s time to offer a rebuttal addressing the ladies!

Men have always been accused of trying to make a pass on women every time we open our mouth. Regardless if we are at the bar with a few friends or grocery shopping, the moment we try to engage in conversation – women think we have a bag of tricks up our sleeves. Well, as Barack Obama eloquently stated dozens of times in the presidential debate last night, “It’s just not true!”

Women – I love you, but stop fooling yourselves into believing that every man who tries speaking with you has intentions on “getting yo numbah” or praying that you will join them in their bed tonight. Have you ever considered the simple fact that we just actually want to talk? Believe it or not, women aren’t the only species on earth who enjoy talking.  We love attention, especially from women, so it’s often nice to engage in a nice conversation with an intelligent woman. These conversations can range anywhere from a couple of seconds to several minutes, yet it still doesn’t insinuate we are left wanting or expecting more than a casual exchange of words.

On the flip side, there are definitely men who are looking to approach women for all the wrong reasons. But let’s face it, we aren’t as confident as we claim when approaching you. Yes, we may try to be big and bad with the guys, but often times we are nervous and don’t want to be rejected. Our fear of rejection often stymies any hopes of successfully approaching a women and typically leaves us sitting there with our friends falling into Miss J’s category 4. However, there are certainly occasions when our confidence is booming and ready to conquer the world, yet the women just don’t quite fit the mold.

What makes a woman fall into this category?  It differs for every person, but let’s take a look at a few scenarios…

1. The “I’m the flyest person in here” woman.

Yes – the whole venue is aware that you have arrived. Unfortunately, the attitude you walked in has captured more of my attention than your beauty. It’s okay to be fly, but tone it down a bit.

2. The “Are you going to buy me a drink” woman.

Ooooooh, so you thought because I said hello you were entitled to a drink? How does water on the rocks sound? Your implication of expecting a drink has already spoke volumes of the type of person you are…next! 

3. The “I’m trying too hard to dance correctly” woman.

Please stop running your fingers through your hair while making awkward faces and excuse yourself from the dance floor. If you can’t dance, no need to highlight your worst abilities – just enjoy the music and slowly feel the beat from your seat.

4. The “Too good to be out” woman.

You and I are in the same place, so please remove the look of superiority from your face. If you were going to look every person up and down with disgust, then why did you even come? You, your sparkle-covered iPhone and your Louis purse are contaminating the air.

5. The “My friend thinks you’re hot” woman. 

Hot? I’m grown. Thank you for the compliment, but I’ll pass. Also, sending your friend to do the legwork isn’t the best strategy.

6. The “Too perfect to approach” woman.

You are the perfect blend of sexiness and sophistication, yet I’m too intimidated to even speak. Your beauty is captivating, but I can’t find any ounce of courage to say hello. I have convinced myself I don’t have a chance, so I’ll stare from afar and imagine what could have been.

Ladies, help us out! Every word leaving our mouth is not a setup to something greater, so enjoy the conversation and laugh along with us.  Try it out – you may be surprised to see just how many respectable men are out there!

Sincerely,

Mr. J

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0 Replies to “Why I Don’t Want Your Number”

  1. Mr. J this was an incredibly fun yet informative read! Maybe us ladies should ease up and give you guys a slight break, maybe. Oh by the way, your categorization of women is hysterically true because we can be any of these women on any given day with any given “innocent” guy!

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