This One is for the guys…
We have all see the “Can I get yo numba” skit on Mad TV and shared a few laughs, but the reality is that ACTUALLY happens. Though I do appreciate the opinion of Mr. J, I am curious to know what you all think. What makes a woman approachable? I am not talking about being hit on, I mean coming correct so to speak. I myself am no stranger to being hit on, but it is on rare occasion a man actually approaches me the correct way. You may ask, what exactly is the “correct way” don’t fret, I will break it down. Now of course on such occasions I promptly tell them I am happily taken, but none the less it is a much less annoying experience when approached the correct way. In my experience there are 5 types of men and they are as follows:
1. The ‘Trifflin’ One
We have all seen him, at the club, on the street, at the mall, in the gym…seriously they are EVERYWHERE! They always get just a little too close to you and it usually goes a little something like this…“ Ay Ma, I’m sayin though let do this” Pause. I am not your mother and do what exactly? I never respond well to this. Ever. At best you will receive a side eye and if you catch me in a really good mood I may just laugh. The kicker is is when they refuse to go away and they start walking with you, in which case you let them know you have a boyfriend (whether you do or don’t). Almost every time, without fail they say “Well do you have room for anymore friends?” Sir…you clearly have no interest in being my friend.No.
2. The ‘I’m too Infatuated to Communicate Effectively’ One
Though it is not the worst thing to be extremely attracted to someone, if it has been over an hour and you are still enamored it tells me you can’t see past that. Beauty is fleeting and so is infatuation. Next!
3.The ‘Act Like I want to be Your Friend but that was Never My Intention’ One
You know the deal, you are somewhere hanging out. You find a spot away from all the other thirsty men and all of the sudden here another one comes…so you think. He actually just asks to sit down and you start with small talk. You think “phew” and automatically put him in the friend zone and deem him as harmless. As the conversation wraps up he asks for your number, which wouldn’t be so bad had he not text/called you right away just to make sure it is you. Ugh I can’t stand the sneak attack! ALL BAD.
4. The “The I actually have potential, but not enough guts to approach you” One
He stares at you from afar and you stare back, but that’s it. End of Story.
5. The “I actually know how to approach a woman” One
This is the guy that walks up with confidence. He introduces himself, his intentions are clear, but respectful. You speak briefly and he suggest you meet up at a later date and you exchange numbers. Now is that so hard? Perfect. *That was the breakdown, so simple*
I am sure there are various other approaches, but these are the approaches I am most familiar with. I am happily taken, but each time I experience scenarios 1-4 I can’t help but feel for my single female friends. Guys, what determines what kind of approach you will have, that is if you decide to approach at all. What deters you from being a gentlemen with clear and respectful intentions every single time? Ladies feel free to get in on this too!
Looking forward to your input!
Love,
Miss J
* Check out Mr. J’s rebuttal here.
© LoveJays 2012
I’ve always been the “scared as all hell to approach you” guy.
Surprisingly, I met my girl after being introduced through a mutual friend, online… (yup, on Facebook). My line was “you’re gorgeous, when will you be in [City] again.” Not the best, but it worked and we’ve been getting to know each other, in person, ever since.
Any advice to long-distance types that rely heavy on internet interaction? (probably deserves its own article)
Thanks Miss J!
Thanks for your response! Yes that does sound like it could be a whole article, we will get one out soon! Glad your approach worked, at least you conquered your fear and went for it in a nice way 🙂
I am in a long distance relationship and would love to hear what you two lovebirds have to say, tis an excellent topic. Has subcategories like:
-How do you change your player ways and commit to someone not physically present?
-How to keep phone calls interesting and avoid repetition
-And of course, controlling your or your partner’s jealousy or insecurities