Episode 57: According To Plan

according to plan

Elevator Pitch

  • Our opposing weekend activities.
  • Vacations vs. Trips.
  • Justin’s belief in spending a little extra money to make experiences more memorable.
  • Joy’s new found love for essential oils and appearance on the Brown Girls Rising podcast.
  • The best yearbook quote of 2017.
  • Blavity Episode 4: Friendship.
  • Navigating a friendship breakup.
  • And much more!

Spread the Word

If you enjoyed the episode, please leave us a review on iTunes and share it with your friends! Connect with us on TwitterFacebook, and Instagram to share your thoughts about the show.

Episode 57 Preview

Check Out Our Latest Episode With Blavity!

Episode 54: Sex With My Friend’s Ex

friend's ex

Elevator Pitch

  • Easter Weekend vs. Resurrection Sunday.
  • Gospel music is the ultimate R&B.
  • Our non-existent tax return.
  • We joined Blavity!
  • Would you date your friend’s ex-boo?
  • How men and women deal with raw emotions after a breakup.
  • Man’s worst nightmare.
  • And much more!

Spread the Word

If you enjoyed the episode, please leave us a review on iTunes and share it with your friends! Connect with us on TwitterFacebook, and Instagram to share your thoughts about the show.

Episode 54 Preview

Check Out Our Latest Vlog!

Episode 24: Celibacy – The Road Less Traveled

Elevator Pitch

  • Do you love Tuesdays?
  • Basking in quiet time.
  • Children timeline…we don’t agree.
  • iPhone 7: Why I don’t have you, yet.
  • Celibacy: The Road Less Traveled.
  • The defining moment(s) that led to our decision.
  • Sex is a distraction.
  • Redefining intimacy.
  • Friends to Best Friends.
  • And much more!

Spread the Word

If you enjoyed the episode, please leave us a review on iTunes and share it with your friends! Connect with us on TwitterFacebook, and Instagram to share your thoughts about the show.

Episode 24 Preview

Episode 12: Friendship Custody

custody

Elevator Pitch

  • Recording in the summer without AC.
  • Spending the 1st week of summer sick.
  • Joy’s tonsillectomy.
  • Justin’s less than stellar nurturing skills.
  • LeBron James cementing his legacy.
  • Joy’s basketball knowledge…or lack their of.
  • Men “allowing” their women to do what they want.
  • Short hair swag.
  • Establishing friendships with your significant other’s friends.
  • Who gets the friends in a breakup?
  • And much more!

Spread the Word

If you enjoyed the episode, please leave us a review on iTunes and share it with your friends! Connect with us onTwitterFacebook, and Instagram to share your thoughts about the show.

Episode 12 Preview

Episode 7: Wedding Guest Etiquette 101

Guest

Justin and Joy provide insight from the bride and groom perspective on the do’s and don’ts of being a wedding guest.

Elevator Pitch

  • Wedding planning is A LOT.
  • Be of service and leave your opinions to yourself.
  • RSVP, RSVP, RSVP!!
  • Don’t show up empty handed.
  • Reception seating arrangements.
  • Know your drinking limit.
  • Don’t leave early!
  • Justin’s heavy involvement in the wedding planning process.
  • Narrowing down the invite list is difficult.
  • And much more!

Spread the Word

If you enjoyed the episode, please leave us a review on iTunes and share it with your friends! Connect with us on TwitterFacebook, and Instagram to share your thoughts about the show.

Episode 7 Preview

Jealous or Just Over Thinking?

Q: Dear Love Jays,

 I’m best friends with a guy. (I’m a girl.) I find myself jealous of his girlfriend though I’ve thought it through and know I don’t want to date him. I find myself feeling like I should distance myself from him, but he’s a great friend to me and we’re really close. I’m single and think maybe if I was in a relationship I wouldn’t feel like there’s an imbalance in the power dynamics of our relationship. Am I over thinking this? What do y’all think?

A: Dear Role Replacement,

I’ve always held the belief that it is very difficult to maintain a best friend relationship between men and women. Notice I said difficult, not impossible.

We are naturally attracted to each other and as these friendships progress, the feelings of “this is just my friend” can easily turn into “I want to be more than friends”.  Who wouldn’t want to date the person who knows everything about you? The person you share your innermost thoughts and feelings? The person who is always there when you need to talk? Shoot, just typing all of this makes me want to date my best friend, too! Fortunately for me, I’m already dating her. (Insert “awwwww” moment).

You clearly stated you aren’t interested in dating your friend, so I’m going to believe you. Though you may not be interested in him romantically, you have a vested interest in the special relationship the two of you share…and I don’t blame you. It’s nice to have those relationships. Unfortunately, these relationships have to take on different forms when a significant other comes into the picture. One of the most crucial parts of any relationship is time. Time is everything. When the two of you were single, he didn’t have to commit time to a specific person, but now he does. The reason you are feeling jealous of his girlfriend is simple – she is getting more time and attention, which has resulted in less time and attention directed to you.

It’s an uncomfortable and awkward feeling to embrace, but understand it’s all a part of the growing process. If he really is your best friend, support his new relationship and take advantage of the moments when you guys talk or spend time together. Change is inevitable and those who welcome it will always come out on top!

Sincerely,

Mr. J

A: Dear I Am Jealous of My Best Friend’s Girlfriend,

I think we can all get a little territorial when it comes to your best friend dating someone new. Someone new means things are going to change, and sometimes we don’t want things to change because we already like everything just the way it is.

You said you don’t want to date your friend, that’s the good news. You can still be friends! The bad news is you do have to share and give up the title of “main woman” in his life.

Sharing does not mean you have to give him up as a friend completely. There is still room for a non-romantic relationship in his life. When two single people of the opposite sex engage in a deep friendship, lines often get blurred. Even if you guys have not been intimate (at least you did not mention that you were), there are still little things you have to adjust. He can no longer be your go-to guy when you need a +1 or be your date on Friday night when you just want to cook dinner, lay on the couch and watch a movie.  Up until now you have both been a friend as well as a filler for a boyfriend/ girlfriend to one another. It’s natural, but things have now changed and that’s ok.

The fact you acknowledged you might not be experience these feelings if you had a relationship as well tells me you are a logical person and you will definitely be ok. I think it would be fair to say you aren’t jealous your friend is with someone, you are just longing for company of your own.

Make sure the girl he is with knows you come in peace and enjoy your friendship with your best friend for what it is now. Your special someone will come soon enough. 🙂

Love,

Miss J 

Have a Question for the Love Jays?

[contact-form][contact-field label=’Submit Questions Anonymously Below: ‘ type=’textarea’/][/contact-form]

© LoveJays 2013