Dear Love Jays,
What’s your opinion on two people in a relationship who have two pretty different moral compasses? Can it work?
Dear Moral Madness,
We received a question similar to this a while back regarding religion and relationships. Although this question is not about religion, it does involve yet another thing at your core — your moral compass. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you agree on everything, but what do you do when at your core you feel something is purely good, and at your significant other’s core they feel that very same thing is purely bad? This wouldn’t be so terrible if it were just one or two minor issues. When your moral compass’ are different, chances are this happens more often than once or twice, and it’s not always with minor issues.
In order to have a successful relationship you need the 3 C’s.
Compatibility
Communication
Compromise
Unfortunately, having a different moral compass affects your compatibility. Compatibility matters most when it comes to your core and ultimately, your morals dictate your actions. Is the real you truly compatible with the real them? When you are in the trenches will you be able to fight the real problem, or will you start fighting each other? You need a person who is going to be on your team to help you make your lay-up, not someone who is going to block your shot.
Good Luck!
Love,
Miss J
Dear Differing Moral Compasses,
Can it work? Possibly. Would I recommend it? No.
Our core values and morals are the blueprint for how we live, love, act, speak. Every decision we make is directly influenced by our internal rules and guidelines. The majority of these morals are adopted through religious or spiritual affiliation, but even if you don’t associate with a religious entity, humans typically understand good vs. bad, wrong vs. right.
When we enter into a relationship with someone, we are looking to find someone who will complement our personality and help develop us into better people. Dating someone who is on the exact opposite end of this process simply doesn’t make sense. Relationships require constant maintenance — why add unnecessary challenges?
Miss J and I have been successful for almost six years because our core values, morals, and religious affiliation are similarly aligned. I’m not saying you need to fit the same requirements — I’m just sharing an ingredient of the secret sauce that helps maintain a healthy and happy relationship.
Love,
Mr. J