Q: Dear Love Jays,
I have a guy friend and I can tell he is starting to like me. How do I break it to him that I don’t like him like that without hurting his feelings?
A: Dear Feelings aren’t Mutual:
You can find the nicest way possible to break the news to him, but understand that his feelings are still going to be hurt. Rejection isn’t easy to receive and it never feels good. I would strongly recommend breaking the news soon, so he doesn’t get led on and his hopes don’t get too high! Personally, I would rather be rejected from jump than to believe I actually have a chance.
It’s not possible to have feelings for everyone who has feelings for us, so let him down and easy and hope for the best. If you guys were good friends before, the friendship may become a little awkward at first, but time heals most (not all) wounds. The longer you wait, the more awkward it will become.
Sincerely,
Mr. J
A: Dear He Really is Just a Friend,
If he has not said anything about it or acted on it yet, I would leave it alone. As long as you are able to comfortably enjoy the friendship there is no need to shut him down. On the flip side, if he is expressing how he feels and will not let it go you are going to have to let him know that the feelings are not reciprocated. No use in trying to drop hints about how you feel about just being friends because he won’t catch them. Men need you to be straight forward. Your actions and words have to match. Don’t give him a shred of hope of being anything more. This does not mean you have to be rude to him in any way, it just means you have to keep him firmly in the dreaded “friend zone”.
I cannot promise you he will not get his feeling hurt, no one likes being rejected. Depending on how much he is in “like”, you may lose him, but if he was ever truly your friend he will eventually get over it and you guys will be able to go back to business as usual—Hopefully.
Good Luck!
Love,
Miss J
© LoveJays 2012